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"All growth depends upon activity. There is no development physically or intellectually without effort, and effort means work. Work is not a curse; it is the prerogative of intelligence... the measure of civilization."
-Calvin Coolidge
It's great to plan, to pay attention, to have intention, to dream, wish, and visualize. Yet there comes a time when we must take action! Work is how things get done. Because we live on this human plane, work is how we learn and grow. Whether it is by studying or through our experiences, our activities take us to new places mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
-Lissa Coffey
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"If a man [or woman!] love the labor of any trade, apart from any question of success or fame, the Gods have called him. [or her]"
-Robert Louis Stevenson
"Dharma" is a sanskrit word that loosely translated means "purpose in life." To have found our dharma is indeed a beautiful thing! Dharma can be more than one thing, and dharma can also change and evolve as we do. But basically, we know that we're in our dharma when we love what we do, when we feel fulfilled, when we are unaware of the time that goes by when we are working. True dharma is work that we enjoy and that also helps people in some way.
-Lissa Coffey
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"He [or she!] who would really benefit mankind [humankind] must reach them through their work."
-Henry Ford
Another famous American businessman who literally changed the world! Henry Ford knew how important it is for us to help each other. And the amazing thing is that whenever we help anyone else, we are also helping ourselves. We're helping ourselves to learn and grow and reach out to connect with others. The more we all do this, the better off we all will be!
-Lissa Coffey
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"The man [or woman!] who does not work for the love of work but only for money is not likely to make money nor to find much fun in life."
-Charles M. Schwab
That's quite some advice from one of the top businessmen in American history! Yet how many of us really take this to heart? I've heard so many times from people who say that they are working just for the money and that what they REALLY want to do is something else entirely. This isn't productive. So our choice is to either find a way to love the work that we are at least temporarily required to do, OR find a way to make money doing what it is that we love to do. Both of these are valid options. Work can be a ministry. No matter where you are or what you're doing, there are people you can reach, people you can help. And we also know that when you truly love what you are doing, nothing can stop you from doing it!
-Lissa Coffey
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“ Words and eggs must be handled with care.
Once broken they are impossible
things to repair.”
-Anne Sexton, 1975
Another way of making a promise is by saying: “I give you my word.” When you do what you say you are going to do, you are being true to you word – you are being honest, and showing integrity. It is important for people to be able to trust each other. And when once a word is broken, the trust that comes with it is broken, too. We can gain trust, and show that we are trustworthy, by being true to our word.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ You may choose your word like a connoisseur,
And polish it up with art,
But the word that sways, and stirs, and stays,
Is the word that comes from the heart.”
-Ella Wheeler Wilcox, 1906
When we communicate, we want to choose our words carefully to be sure that we are completely understood. And yet, when we want to express our feelings, sometimes it helps to just let those feelings flow, to think with our hearts more than with our heads. The words that come from our hearts are so true and real that they can’t help but have an effect on anyone who hears them.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ Words make another place, a place to escape to with your spirit alone.”
-Robert MacNeil (1931 - )
We all know what it feels like to get lost in a really good book. What magic there is in that! What a gift that is available to us, to be able to share our thoughts and feelings and experiences with each other – to express our concerns and joys. All this is possible because we have the words to do it. It doesn’t matter if it is the spoken word, or the written word – written on a computer or by hand – in block letters, a smothe cursive, or even Braille! Words help us to learn more about ourselves, and about each other.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ You can stroke people with words.”
-F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896-1940)
What would we do without language? This is how we communicate. Words by themselves are so innocuous, but when we put them together, combine them together in such a way, they can be bitterly poisonous, or powerfully healing. Words can carry with them so much meaning. Through words we can express tenderness, and compassion.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Wisdom cannot be pass’d from one having it to another not having it.
Wisdom is of the soul, is not susceptible of proof, is its own proof.”
-Walt Whitman (1819-1892)
This is another example of the more that you give, the more that you have. One of the best ways to learn is by teaching! Wisdom is not something that can necessarily be measured, but it can be felt, and it can be shared.
-Lissa Coffey
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“It is easier to be wise for others than for oneself.”
-La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)
This is so true! Don’t we all give better advice than we take from ourselves? Because we can look at someone else’s problems objectively, and we are so caught up in our own emotions that it’s hard to step back and look at our own problems with the same wisdom. But it is possible! As we learn and grow and spend more time in silence, we make better decisions, we become more wise.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening, the third memory, the fourth practice, the fifth teaching others.”
-Solomen Ibn Gabirol (A.D. 1021? – 1069?)
Hard to argue with that, huh? Silence, meditation, time with nature, self-reflection… all of these things lead us to wisdom. Have we taken that first step? Do we listen? Do we remember? Do we practice? Do we teach others? We all know what we must do, yet how often do we really do it? We get so distracted by our daily activities that we forget how important it is to just sit down and be quiet for a change! Yes, it is important – wisdom is important! Wisdom is necessary to lead the kind of lives that we say we want to lead. The first step is silence.
-Lissa Coffey
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“The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
Since this newsletter is called WisdomNews I thought we’d start off the new year talking about wisdom. Wisdom goes beyond knowledge. We often hear wisdom associated with sages, people who seem to know and understand those things that sometimes have no explanation. Maybe it is recognizing that connection between all things that makes everything miraculous. Wisdom is attainable, all the wisdom of the universe is at hand right now.
-Lissa Coffey
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“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view – until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”
-Harper Lee (1926- ) To Kill a Mockingbird, 1960
For all of us to get along and live together in this world requires a certain amount of understanding. The more we learn and discover and understand about ourselves, the more we can understand other people. We are really all much more alike that we are different. Given our different circumstances and situations, it’s easy to forget that.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ Much learning does not teach understanding.”
-Heraclitus (540?- 480?)
Where do we find understanding? It doesn’t just come from education. It isn’t just in books. How easy that would be it if were so! Understanding is not something that is generated in our minds. It starts with our mind, but whatever it is becomes understood when it finds its way into our heart. We understand because we can relate, we can identify, we can see that we are not separate from that which we seek to understand.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ In what we really understand, we reason but little.”
-William Hazlitt (1778-1830)
True understanding is knowingness. We don’t have to be able to put it into words, we just know. In our heart, in our mind, in our very being, some things just ARE, and we understand. It’s kind of like how we can feel when someone loves us. We know it without that person having to say it. We don’t have to think about it and analyze the situation, there is just this understanding that is there. That same understanding, that same knowingness, comes with the presence of Spirit, omnipotent and omnipresent.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Sometimes it proves the highest understanding not to understand.”
-Baltasar Gracian (1601-1658)
Some things seem beyond our understanding. Certain algebraic formulas, for example – or the mentality of terrorists. This is a complicated world we live in. And we may not understand all of it. But we can expand our faith to accept what understanding we do have, and to build on that. We can take what we know, and learn and grow from here.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers.”
-Erich Fromm
I think this is kind of like “necessity is the mother of invention.” What makes us learn and grow and propels us forward is uncertainty. If everything were certain we would get lazy pretty quick- Instead we are constantly challenged to find solutions and better our conditions.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don’t let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.”
-R.I. Fitzhenry
We live in a world of uncertainty. No matter how hard we plan or schedule or try to control things, the truth is that anything can happen, at any time! We can embrace that, and take what comes- or we can live in a state of apprehension. But we can’t change the “unknowingness” – that’s just a part of life, so we might as well enjoy it!
-Lissa Coffey
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“The unknown is what it is. And to be frightened of it is what sends everybody scurrying around chasing dreams, illusions, wars, peace, love, hate, all that… Accept that it’s unknown, and it’s plain sailing.”
-John Lennon
Why is it so difficult for us to just accept the unknown? We tend to feel like we have to “make” things happen. Sure, we must take action, and work towards our goals – but at the same time if we could also relax and know that however things turn out, that’s the way they’re supposed to be. The process itself is really where we learn. And at the same time, since everything is changeable, and everything is possible, we can always start again!
-Lissa Coffey
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“Every area of trouble gives out a ray of hope, and the one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is certain or unchangeable.”
-John F. Kennedy
Isn’t this uncertainty such a great concept? It sure helps us out when we make a mistake! We can change things, make them better. Nothing is set in stone, that’s just the way it is – life is fluid, moving, changeable – and that is good for us. There is great potential in uncertainty- it means that ANYTHING, and everything is possible.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Truth – is as old as God –
His Twin identity
And will endure as long as He
A Co-Eternity –“
-Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)
Truth – just five little letters and yet such a big word. It’s so powerful, and so real. Truth is something we all revere – we all search for it, we all believe in it. Truth is pure and simple. It makes everything make sense. Truth is a guiding principle that can’t steer us wrong.
-Lissa Coffey
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“There are no new truths, but only truths that have not been recognized by those who have perceived them without noticing. A truth is something that everyone can be shown to know and to have known, as people say, all along.”
-Mary McCarthy (1912-1989)
Truth is beyond time and space. Truth is always available to us, now, and wherever we are. Truth is unchanging and eternal. Truth is not biased or preferential – truth is the same for each one of us, it is there for all of us.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.”
-Mark Twain (1835-1910)
Of course, we know that there are infinite possibilities, but in our human experience we can only conjure up a portion of the possibilities based on what we’ve been exposed to. That’s why when some things happen we just can’t believe it – we can’t comprehend how such a thing could happen. But when we seek the truth, through prayer and meditation and spiritual practices, we see many more possibilities. We open up to answers and solutions that were once beyond our realm of understanding.
-Lissa Coffey
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“This is the character of truth: it is of all time, it is for all men, it has only to show itself to be recognized, and one cannot argue against it”
-Voltaire (1694-1778)
Truth is the great clarifier. I think of Jack Nicholson in “A Few Good Men” being grilled on the witness stand by Tom Cruise – it’s obvious that Jack’s covering something because the pieces aren’t falling into place. And he gets frustrated and yells at Tom: “You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!” It’s one of those great moments in film where you get that “ah-ha!” and then the truth comes out. The truth might not always be pretty – but it is what it is, and it wants to be discovered.
-Lissa Coffey
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“An underlying urge to self-transformation possibly lies at the basis of all existence, finding expression in the process of growth, development, renewal, directed change, perfection.”
-Lewis Mumford (1895-1990)
We are wired to grow and improve and to experience more of our true selves. This is something we crave! It is our instinct, and it leads us towards transformation.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Any transformation of one person invites accommodating transformations in others.”
-R.D. Laing (1927-1989)
We’re all connected. There is a unity that can’t be denied. When one person changes, it can dramatically affect those around him or her, causing more changes, more transformation. Our lives impact each other; we can’t help it! So, let’s make it work for the good of all of us.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ You don’t go through a deep personal transformation without some kind of a dark night of the soul.”
-Sam Keen (1931- )
Heavy, dark experiences change us. They shake us to our core and cause us to re-evaluate our lives and our values. So, it is understandable that a transformation can come out of that. And sometimes it works the other way around. Sometimes a transformation occurs – maybe we’ve been working on it for a long time but then suddenly there’s a shift – and we need some time and space to assimilate it into our consciousness. We need to see how we can fit our new selves back into our old lives. It can feel like a dark night of the soul – but it’s only temporary. The light shines through.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Transformation means replacing old values with new ones in the evolution of conscious life.”
-Kazimierz Dabrowski, 1964
Things change. That’s for sure! ‘Things’ change – and times change… but spirit remains the same. And our values, as we come to a higher consciousness, must necessarily change as we experience this. That’s evolution. We’re getting better as we grow!
-Lissa Coffey
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“ There is a time to be born, and a time to die, says Solomon, and it is the memento of a truly wise man; but there is an interval between these two times of infinite importance.”
Leigh Richmond (1772-1827)
How do we live our lives? How do we spend our time? Are we learning and growing, serving and loving? We are given this magnificent gift of time, and how we use it is up to us individually. We’re making choices constantly. Choose wisely, with intention.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ As every thread of gold is valuable, so is every moment of time.”
-John Mason (1706-1773)
Some might joke that John Mason was a lawyer, but he was actually part of the clergy. Lawyers tend to bill by the fraction of the hour, and literally, their time is money. If you think about time that way, you get a different perspective. Every moment that we spend here on earth is precious. Not so much for the money that we can make, but for the lessons and experiences that we go through which help us to grow. It is important to be respectful of people and their time, to arrive promptly for meetings and not keep someone waiting. This is just part of being a responsible spiritual citizen. And, if we are the ones who are kept waiting, we know that we can use that time and not waste it. We can take a few moments to notice things, to breathe, to feel gratitude. No moment is ever wasted when we are living in the now.
-Lissa Coffey
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“I grew up in a gentler, slower time. When Ike was president, Christmases were years apart, and now it’s about five months from one to the next.”
-Garrison Keillor (1942 - )
There is so much truth in this… I’ve been getting Christmas catalogs in the mail since August! Our society has gotten so retail oriented, so marketing savvy, that we’re always months ahead of ourselves. Whether it’s holiday sales, or movie previews, or upcoming specials, we’ve been trained to think ahead or be left behind. So we can’t really enjoy the moment we’re in because we’re too busy planning for the time that’s yet to come. How sad. But we can do something about it! Resolve to live in the now. Experience this moment of time fully. Now is the only time there is.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Time and space are only forms of thought.”
-Edith Nesbitt
“Measure, time and number are nothing but modes of thought or rather of imagination.”
-Benedict Spinoza
Whether analog or digital, clocks and watches are man-made inventions. We follow along, agreeing to the certain standard measurements of time, when it is really only a perception of what has transpired. When we understand that there is no such thing as time, we will stop running out of it. We have all the time we need. Just as we have all we need in every area of our live, if we’d only recognize it!
-Lissa Coffey
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“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.”
-Marcus Antonius (A.D. 86-161)
How often do we think about the QUALITY of our thoughts? We obviously have an abundant quantity of thoughts – but how many of those are thoughts of absolute quality? Which thoughts are like little gemstones that we want to treasure and save, to bring out again and again to wear with pleasure? Maybe it’s time to do some mental housekeeping. All those old, dusty, dinghy, non-productive thoughts that just end up making us feel bad… throw them out! They are no longer useful to us! Now, replace those old thoughts with new, efficient, beautifully clear thoughts. And watch how our outside lives begin to reflect the shiny new thinking that is going on inside.
-Lissa Coffey
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“When you rule your mind you rule your world. When you choose your thoughts you choose results.”
-Imelda Shanklin
Our minds are so constantly busy that we often forget that we actually have a choice in the matter. We can choose our thoughts! And by choosing our thoughts, we are choosing our experiences and creating our futures. And we need to remember that our reactions are thoughts, also. Instead of letting our emotions ride on auto-pilot, we can choose to take a breath and take inventory rather than giving in to an impulsive reaction. In this way, our thoughts can lead us in a much more productive direction, one that creates solutions rather than problems.
-Lissa Coffey
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“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become.”
-Buddha (563 – 483 B.C.)
Our thoughts direct our lives. The path we are on begins in our heart and in our mind. Each step we take moves us toward our greater purpose if that is where we want to go. We can become the person we want to be, the person we know that we truly are.
-Lissa Coffey
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“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”
-Proverbs 23:7
Even way back when the bible was written people were talking about the heart’s intelligence. What do we KNOW in our heart? What conviction do we carry with us? It is important to recognize these thoughts, because they make up how we are, and who we think we are.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.”
-Henry Miller (1891-1980)
How many golden moments have gone by while we were worrying about the future or fretting about the past? If these moments were our nourishment, how well fed would we be? Now is the time, this is the moment, to begin living in present moment awareness. Before we starve ourselves, let us partake of each moment as if it were a divine delicacy, because that is exactly what it is!
-Lissa Coffey
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“ On Arturo Toscanini’s eightieth birthday, someone asked his son, Walter, what his father ranked as his most important achievement. The son replied, “For him there can be no such thing. Whatever he happens to be doing at the moment is the biggest thing in his life – whether it is conducting a symphony or peeling an orange.”
-Ardis Whitman
When we live in present moment awareness we’re living with heightened senses. We’re awake to the many miracles all around us, all the time. We can find joy in peeling an orange: filling our nostrils with the sweet and tangy fragrance, feasting our eyes on the brilliant fiery color, coating our fingers with the sticky and succulent juice. The orange is a gift, and we are blessed. When we are grateful, we are in the moment, and life is good!
-Lissa Coffey
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“For you, the world is weird because if you’re not bored with it you’re at odds with it. For me the world is weird because it is stupendous, awesome, mysterious, unfathomable. I want to convince you that you must learn to make every act count, since you are going to be here for only a short while; in fact, too short for witnessing all the marvels of it.”
-Don Juan (Carlos Castaneda)
That’s the kind of world I want to live in, one that is “stupendous, awesome, mysterious and unfathomable!” Imagine having that on a travel brochure? We’d all want to go to a place like that! And here we are! Do we recognize it, do we experience it every day? Do we make every act count? Every moment count? This is our world, this is our moment. Embrace it!
-Lissa Coffey
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“ Stay present. You’ll always have time to worry later on if you want to.”
-Dan Millman
Do we worry because we want to? If everything is a choice, and it is, then why would we choose to worry? When we stay present, we can’t be worried, because this moment is all there is. One moment at a time, we allow ourselves to see the perfection of the Universe, in all its glory! The present moment is where we are, it’s where we find out who we really are.
-Lissa Coffey
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"An understanding heart is everything in a teacher… One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child."
-Carl G. Jung (1875-1961)
We have teachers all throughout our lives. I can remember just a handful of the ones I had while I was in school, and that is because I knew that they cared about me. As an adult, I studied at The Healing Arts Center, and my teacher there was Louise Taylor. I am so grateful to Louise for sharing so much of her knowledge and wisdom with me. And she taught me, and all of her students, by example as much as by her classes. Louise is a wonderful, caring, compassionate mother, friend, and businesswoman. She radiates integrity, creativity and love. Those are qualities of a good teacher!
-Lissa Coffey
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" No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge. The teacher who walks in the shadow of the temple, among his followers, gives not of his wisdom but rather of his faith and his lovingness. If he is indeed wise he does not bid you enter the house of his wisdom, but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind."
-Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
All of the knowledge and wisdom of the world is available to us at all times. We have only to tap into it to make use of it. The truth is that we don't need anyone to tell us anything! But… until we can fully make use of our gifts, we could use someone to show us the way. Life is hard enough trying to make it on our own. Thanks goodness that we have teachers to guide us and give us some direction.
-Lissa Coffey
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" When the National Science Foundation asked the "breakthrough" scientists what they felt was the most favorable factor in their education, the answer was almost uniformly, "Intimate association with a great, inspiring teacher.""
-R. Buckminster Fuller (1895-1983)
I think we all need some sort of a mentor, or a role model, or an inspiring teacher in our lives. We may have one, or we may be fortunate enough to have several. Great teachers can give us more than we can get from books or history lessons. When we form a personal connection with a teacher, we also learn from that teacher's life experiences. It is meaningful to us because we understand that the teacher is invested in our learning, he or she cares. That inspires us.
-Lissa Coffey
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" The teacher is no longer merely the-one-who-teaches, but one who is himself taught in dialogue with the students, who in turn while being taught also teach."
-Paulo Freire (1921-1997)
It is true that one of the best ways to learn is to teach. It gives us a better understanding of the material from the ground up. If we can take something complicated and distill it down so that someone else can learn it, we are mastering the concept ourselves. In addition, in the role of teacher, we are asked questions - questions we might never have thought of on our own. In finding the answers, we learn more about the concept, and about ourselves. So the students become the teachers as well. We are all teachers, just as we are all students.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Life is a succession of moments. To live each one is to succeed”
-Corita Kent
Present-moment awareness. Being awake and aware and alive to the beauty and abundance in and around us at all times. Wow. How could that be anything less than success?
-Lissa Coffey
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“Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of knowing you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.”
-John Wooden
With this definition, it doesn’t matter what industry you work in, or how much money you make. It doesn’t matter where you grew up or who you know. This says that success is all a matter of our own efforts, and how we see how we are doing. And it leaves room to say that we are “becoming” – which is great, because we are all changing, and growing, and succeeding every day, every minute!
-Lissa Coffey
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“ I am not the smartest or most talented person in the world, but I succeeded because I keep going, and going, and going.”
-Sylvester Stallone
There is a lot to be said for persistence and perseverance. How much drive and enthusiasm have we put into our efforts? When we pursue something “whole-heartedly” then we simply can’t give up. When we invest our Selves into our plans, we can’t help but succeed!
-Lissa Coffey
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“If a man wants his dreams to come true, he must wake up.”
-Anonymous
Dreams might come to us, but success is something we must go after. Inspiration strikes, then it’s up to us to take action. We could buy all the great works of literature, but it we don’t actually read them, what is the point? I we feel that success is eluding us, then now is the time to evaluate our activities.
-Lissa Coffey
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“We cannot take a single step toward heaven. It is not in our power to travel in a vertical direction. If however we look heavenward for a long time, God comes and takes us up.”
-Simone Weil, Waiting for God, 1950
Spirituality takes less effort than we think. We don’t have to try and try – we just have to commit to it, recognize it, embrace it! It’s all about connecting with God, and knowing that God is the One really doing all the “work.”
-Lissa Coffey
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“ Although I try
to hold the single thought
of Buddha’s teaching in my heart,
I cannot help but hear
the many crickets’ voices calling as well.”
-Izumi Shikibu (c 1000)
Sometimes following our spiritual practices can be a challenge because we are so distracted by the demands of everyday life. This is true for everyone – there never seems to be enough time, or enough quiet, to set aside for prayer, meditation, or contemplation. It is so worth it when we do! And yet, spirituality does not have to be a separate experience from the rest of our lives. We can choose to hear the beautiful song of the crickets’ voices as a gift from God. We can choose to express gratitude for the full and exciting lives we lead, however busy we may be!
-Lissa Coffey
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“Nothing in all nature is so lovely and so vigorous, so perfectly at home in its environment, as a fish in the sea. Its surroundings give to it a beauty, quality, and power which is not its own. We take it out, and at once a poor, limp dull thing, fit for nothing, is gasping away its life. So the soul, sunk in God, living the life of prayer, is supported, filled, transformed in beauty, by a vitality and a power which are not its own.”
-Evelyn Underhill, The Golden Sequence (1932)
We are spiritual beings, and in this human existence, where we encounter conflict and stress, we often feel like a fish out of water. We must immerse ourselves in our spirituality, and let it be our home. We find solace in our spiritual practices, whatever they are for each one of us. And then we can bring that good energy into all aspects of our lives, so that feeling of spirit is always with us.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Peace is a necessary condition of spirituality, no less than an inevitable result of it.”
-Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)
Peace is reason enough for each of us to pursue our spirituality, and to encourage and support others who wish to do so, also. We experience inner peace through prayer, meditation, and spiritual activity. And that peace radiates outwards to affect our homes and communities. The more of us who live spiritually, the more peace there will be in the world!
-Lissa Coffey
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“The soul unfolds itself like a lotus of countless petals.”
-Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
Our spiritual growth is such a beautiful thing. We bloom into ourselves and extend loveliness and sweetness out into the world. Like the lotus, we become more soft and gentle as we unfold into more of who we are– and we also become more “layered” in our experiences and challenges.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ The soul of man is immortal and imperishable.”
-Plato (427-347 B.C.)
The physical world is temporary and transient. It is ever changing. What is true and constant and utterly reliable is that God is ever-present. And our connection with that Source remains even when the physical fades away.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ All religion, all life, all art, all expression come down to this: to the effort of the human soul to break through its barrier of loneliness, of intolerable loneliness, and make some contact with another seeking soul, or with what all souls seek, which is (by any name) God.”
-Don Marquis (1878-1937)
Yes! Our connection with one another is there, and we are seeking to experience it. And by experiencing our connection with one another, we can experience our connection with God. God expresses through each one of us. Do we notice? Are we listening? Each person we come into contact with has something for us, some piece of the puzzle large or small. We are searching for ourselves, so why don’t we make it easier and stop hiding from ourselves?
-Lissa Coffey
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“The soul of man … is a portion or a copy of the soul of the Universe and is joined together on principles and in proportions corresponding to those which govern the Universe.”
-Plutarch (AD 46?-119?)
Any attempt to define the soul inevitably brings with it a connection with the Universe. So it follows that each soul, while connected to the Universe, is also connected with each other soul – by association, if nothing else! We’re more than family, we are all One.
-Lissa Coffey
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“The secret of solitude is that there is no solitude.”
-Joseph Cook, Conscience (1880)
So the secret is out! When we understand that we can never be “alone” because God is always with us, then we will never be lonely. We will cherish our solitude, and consider it time alone with God.
-Lissa Coffey
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“We’re all of us sentenced to solitary confinement inside our own skins, for life!”
-Tennessee Williams, Orpheus Descending
There comes a time when we realize that there’s no escaping it, we have to live with ourselves! How do we treat ourselves? Are we kind and loving, do we show appreciation and forgiveness? Too often we’re our own worst critics! We’re hard on ourselves when we really need a break once in awhile. Let’s work on being the kind of person whom we want to be with – and spend some time being ourselves, by ourselves.
-Lissa Coffey
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“I have never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.”
-Henry David Thoreau, Walden
No one can know you as well as you know yourself. And yet, how well do you really know yourself? Are you your own best friend? Spend some time with yourself, just you, and pretty soon you’ll discover just how wonderful you really are!
-Lissa Coffey
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“Solitude gives birth to the original in us, to beauty unfamiliar and perilous – to poetry. But also, it gives birth to the opposite: to the perverse, the illicit, the absurd.”
-Thomas Mann, Death in Venice
To appreciate solitude we need space and time. We need space to be by ourselves and time to enjoy our own company. And from there we can experience silence, and go beyond space and time! Here there are infinite possibilities for us; here is where we find inspiration and creativity. Here there is peace, and joy, and bliss.
-Lissa Coffey
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“It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all.”
-Laura Ingalls Wilder (1917)
What’s real? Schedules, deadlines, hassles, arguments, conflicts, “fine print,” details? Those things sure command our attention – but are they real? Or do they take us away from what is really real? Where is the love? Put your attention there. Ahhhh, that’s better!
-Lissa Coffey
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“Manifest plainness,
Embrace simplicity,
Reduce selfishness,
Have few desires.”
-Lao-tzu, The Way of Life
Another word for simple is “easy.” With ease, doesn’t that sound like a great way to live life? It’s our choice. We’re the ones who have been complicating our lives. Look at what’s really important. Sort things out, give yourself the space to see what is really there. You’ll be surprised at just how perfect “simple” really is.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Our life is frittered away by detail… Simplify, simplify, simplify.”
-Henry David Thoreau, Walden
How many ways can we say this, or hear this? “Don’t sweat the small stuff,” “Look at the big picture,” “All’s well that ends well.” The beauty of Japanese art is in its simplicity. Artists know that the empty spaces are just as important as the brush strokes. So much can be expressed with just a few lines. Musicians understand that just a few notes can convey an emotion, they don’t need a whole symphony every time. And poets need just a few words, not an entire textbook. Is there anything more beautiful than “I love you?” Life can be simple, sweet and oh, so beautiful, if we just allow it to be.
-Lissa Coffey
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“When thought is too weak to be simply expressed, it is a clear proof that it should be rejected.”
-Luc de Clapiers Vauvenargues (1715-1747)
It’s not just our houses and our desks that are cluttered – often times our minds are cluttered, too! Let’s treat our thoughts, and our words carefully – let’s choose them as we would pick out produce in the market, discarding the ones that are stale or bruised and selecting instead ones that are fresh and fragrant and full of life. And let’s just take what we need for now, we can always go back for more. One thing at a time!
-Lissa Coffey
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“Silence is the perfectest herald of joy.”
-Shakespeare (1564-1616) Claudio, in Much Ado About Nothing
Some people might think of silence as empty, or lonely – yet it is anything but! Silence is so filled with love and truth and wisdom that is fills our spirit to overflowing.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Quietness is indeed a sign of strength. But quietness may also help one to achieve strength.”
-Franz Kafka (1883-1924)
We all have a strength that we may not even realize. But it is there, deep within. It gets us through the most difficult times, it give us courage, and persistence when it seems that all is lost. We can tap into that strength at any time, and use it to achieve our heart’s desire. And we can find that strength in silence.
-Lissa Coffey
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“It [would be] vain for me to endeavor to interpret the Silence. She cannot be done into English.”
-Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
More can be “said” in a few moments of silence than in volumes of literature. Some things are beyond translation. I could go on and on about this… but I’ll be quiet and let you find the silence instead. You’ll see.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Silence is the language of God.”
-Swami Sivananda (1887-1963)
Are we really listening when we are in silence? Or are we “thinking” and listening to our busy minds? Stop the chatter for awhile – breathe – get quiet – and allow those thoughts to pass as clouds drift across a blue sky. Then listen, and hear God.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Silence is the mother of truth.”
-Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881)
Silence gives birth to so many wonderful things. It is from this space of infinite possibilities that all great works flow. It is from this realm of vast wisdom that we all learn and grow.
-Lissa Coffey
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"No good thing is pleasant to possess without friends to share it."
-Seneca the Younger (5? B.C. - A.D. 65)
What's the point of having a big screen TV if you can't have some friends over for an NBA play-offs party every once in awhile? I don't think Seneca the Younger had that specifically in mind when he wrote this, but I'm sure they had something of the equivalent in his day! Whatever we have is more sweet when it is shared.
-Lissa Coffey
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" Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed and hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world."
-John Lennon (1940-1980)
With the world in such a state of flux, it might be difficult to imagine ALL the people sharing all the world… but it is not impossible. There's a saying: "Think Globally, Act Locally." If we each started there, kind of a "grass roots" or "backyard" approach, imagine the impact we could make house by house, neighborhood by neighborhood, community by community.
-Lissa Coffey
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" Friends share all things."
-Pythagoras (580? - 500? B.C.)
True friends share things without even realizing it sometimes. When one of us feels joy, that joy is shared by our friends - we are happy for each other! Whether it is good news or bad news, it feels good to share it with a friend, with someone who will feel the emotions and help us through it.
-Lissa Coffey
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" Sharing what you have is more important than what you have."
-Albert M. Wells, Jr.
Sharing is not limited to material things. We can share our memories, experiences, and knowledge for example. The beauty in this is that we aren't giving those things away - we couldn't if we tried! But they are so valuable, and they become even more valuable, when we share them other people. The most simple advice can be such a treasure. The fact that we are open and willing to share what we have learned can make this journey more beneficial for all of us.
-Lissa Coffey
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“If we could all hear one another’s prayers, God might be relieved of some of his burden.”
-Ashleigh Brilliant
We are here as angels, emissaries, to do God’s work, to help each other. We can hear one another’s prayers if we just listen. We are all one in spirit, and we all want the same things – love, respect, acknowledgment, a purpose. Think about all that we can do for each other to provide those very important things. It could be so simple, and so beautiful, and mean so much.
-Lissa Coffey
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“All altruism springs from putting yourself in the other person’s place.”
-Harry Emerson Fosdick
It’s all about empathy. We are all one. We share so much that we can understand another person’s heartache or sorrow. We can relate to each other. We want to do what we can to alleviate pain. This is how service begins.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ In the time we have it is surely our duty to do all the good we can to all the people we can in all the ways we can.”
-William Barclay
I believe that it is our duty to serve. I also believe that it is our nature to serve. We are here for each other, we are here to help each other. Many times, I think it is easier for us to help someone else than to ask for help for ourselves. But when we need help, we absolutely should reach out for it. When we need help, we are providing another person with the opportunity to serve, and this is truly a blessing.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Serve self you serve society
Serve society serve yourself.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
Besides helping other people, service has the added benefit of helping the person doing the serving! How could this be? Because service makes us feel good, it helps us to grow spiritually, it helps us to gain compassion. Service helps to make our society a better place, and it’s a place we all share! Because we are all one, what we do for others, we do for ourselves.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ Most people are like a falling leaf that drifts and turns in the air, flutters, and falls to the ground. But a few others are like stars which travel one defined path: no wind reaches them, they have within themselves their guide and path.”
-Hermann Hesse (1877-1962) Siddharta
You are a star! You are a shining star! I wrote a song once with that title, and the rest of the lyrics in the chorus go: “You are my shining star, you are who you are, you are special to me! No matter where you are, if it’s near or far, you shine bright as can be!”
-Lissa Coffey
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“ Spiritual living is a fulfillment from moment to moment, in which the outer person is in a state of living rapport with the inner being and becomes an extension thereof.”
-N. Sri Ram (1889 - ?) Thoughts for Aspirants, 1972
A lot of times we tend to separate our “outer life” from our “inner life.” Maybe we’re working at a job we hate just for the money, while our heart aches for something more. Or we can’t seem to find that certain relationship we’re longing. We can come up with all kinds of justifications for these things. But there’s always a solution. To fully integrate ourselves, we’ve got to make our outer life an extension, or an expression, of our inner life. We’ve got to develop that rapport spiritually within so that we understand how much power we have to create anything in our lives.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ King Henry: Presume not that I am the thing I was;
For God doth know, so shall the world perceive,
That I have turn’d away my former self.”
-Shakespeare (1564-1616) Henry IV, 1597
I like this because Shakespeare says here “I have made the choice- I have chosen to change” - and that is such a powerful statement. We always have that choice. We can always “reinvent” ourselves. And when we mean it, it works! There are a lot of people in the media who are examples of this – the former “loose image” actress turned mother and Sunday school teacher – the former rock-n-roller who is now a gospel singer. Part of this is knowing who we are – and understanding that how the world perceives us, how we present ourselves, is totally up to us.
-Lissa Coffey
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“One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them.”
-Virginia Woolf (1882-1941)
As we start learning more about ourselves, and realizing more and more who we really are, we begin to understand just how much we really have in common with one another. We’re all in this together, and there is so much we can each to do help one another. As time goes on, we naturally become more compassionate, because we can empathize with a more broad range of experiences.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself, but the most inconvenient, too.”
-Josh Billings
I guess from one point of view, life would be easier if we just had to get up and go to work everyday – we could pretty much be on auto-pilot and navigate through life without much effort. But what a waste of time and energy that would be. And how boring, too! Sure, spiritual growth takes effort – we need to make time to meditate, read, serve and take care of ourselves and the planet. But isn’t that the best part about this life? Once you get started on “the path” and see all the wonders that a spiritual life offers, you want to keep going. Sure, self-knowledge is difficult, messy, challenging, and inconvenient – but it is also the most magnificent and amazing gift that life has to offer.
-Lissa Coffey
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“A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us.”
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Sometimes one single event is all it takes to totally wake us up to the Truth that is here all the time. But for most of us, it is a process that gradually unfolds, giving us clues, hints, and glimpses of Reality in small doses so that we can assimilate them into our lives. We become familiar with who we are, we get to know ourselves day by day, as we come to understand and accept that we are much more than the roles we play.
-Lissa Coffey
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“No one remains quite what he was when he recognizes himself.”
-Thomas Mann
Does the world change when we understand who we are? No, but we see it more clearly. Do we change when we understand who we are? No, but because we can see ourselves more clearly, we may start to make different choices in our lives. So our lives may change dramatically. Once we start this growth process, we can’t go back – like a flower reaches toward the sunlight we continue our journey within.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment.”
-Lao-tzu
There are so many things to learn in this life. We spend years in school studying algebra and history, science and literature. All of this is fascinating, and helps us to grow. And yet, when you know yourself, you know everything. It all becomes so simple. We can see the connections, we can feel the balance of it all. Garner wisdom from books and teachings, and also, look within.
-Lissa Coffey
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"He who is firm and resolute in will moulds the world to himself."
-Goethe
We are blessed with choice, with free will. We are not puppets at the disposal of the planets, but strong, intelligent creatures who are here to learn and grow through our experiences. The more we grow, the more we understand that we are creating our lives every minute of every day. Through our resolve, our will, our intentions, our decisions, we are making and changing our experiences all the time.
-Lissa Coffey
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"Paths clear before those who know where they're going and are determined to get there."
-Anonymous
Once we set our minds on something, we make our resolution, then we can just let it go and watch the universe handle all the details. Things just seem to fall into place when we are aware enough to notice. Situations and circumstances orchestrate into one big conspiracy to fulfill our desires, and put us into a position where we can take action. We just need to keep our destination in mind, we don't need to control what happens every step of the way. We will get there.
-Lissa Coffey
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"Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve."
-Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
A resolution is a commitment - it's a commitment to ourselves to grow, change, achieve, accomplish. We can make that commitment to ourselves this new year, and we can honor that commitment as time goes on and obstacles are thrown onto our paths. It all starts right here, right now.
-Lissa Coffey
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"Resolve, and thou art free."
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)
Our resolutions carry power! We can do anything we set our mind to. Ask yourself: do I mean it? Do I want it? Am I committed to taking action to accomplish this? If the answers are "yes" then make that resolution! It's as good as done.
-Lissa Coffey
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“The house of the Divine is not closed to any who knock sincerely at its gates, whatever their past stumbles and errors.”
-Sri Aurobindo
Spirit is always within us and all around us, it can’t go away. There is nothing that we could possibly do to make it go away! We don’t have to knock, we don’t have to call, we don’t have to call out – it is already HERE! Welcome it, love it, use it, appreciate it.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Whatever the mind holds to and firmly believes in, forms a new pattern of thought within its creative mold, as whatever thought is held in the mind tends to take outward form in new creations.”
-Ernest Holmes
Who do you think you are? Depending on the tone of the person asking that question, you could choose to be insulted or intrigued. But really, do you know who you are? Are who you know yourself to be and who you think yourself to be the same person? We each create the lives we lead, and we’re doing this all the time with our thoughts and our actions. Think about it.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”
-Psalm 51:10
Spirit is all-loving, all-encompassing, unbounded, immortal and invisible. And this wonderful energy is available to each one of us, within each one of us! Is it any wonder that we are powerful, beautiful and creative beings? Know it… and enjoy it!
-Lissa Coffey
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“You could not step twice into the same river; for other waters are ever flowing on to you.”
-Heraclitus
Here on earth, in this physical realm, life is constantly changing. And as people, we are changing and growing and living and learning all the time. This is why we are here! Embrace change, step boldly into the unknown, this is a journey of discovery and self-discovery.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ How we remember, what we remember, and why we remember form the most personal map of our individuality.”
Christina Baldwin (1977)
Our memories make up a big part of who we are. They help to shape us. We carry our memories with us wherever we go, and we share them with people who want to know us. We can cherish our memories, even the sad ones, because they are ours.
-Lissa Coffey
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“The joys I have possessed are ever mine; out of thy reach, behind eternity, hid in the sacred treasure of the past, but blest remembrance brings them hourly back.”
-John Dryden (1631-1700) English poet and author
We remember our sorrow because we felt it so deeply. It is also important to remember our joy. Think back to a time when you felt truly joyful… maybe when you first fell in love? When your child was born? When you accomplished an important goal? Life is filled with these joyful moments, and they are there for us to enjoy not just once, but many times over through our memories.
-Lissa Coffey
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“The joys I have possessed are ever mine; out of thy reach, behind eternity, hid in the sacred treasure of the past, but blest remembrance brings them hourly back.”
-John Dryden (1631-1700) English poet and author
We remember our sorrow because we felt it so deeply. It is also important to remember our joy. Think back to a time when you felt truly joyful… maybe when you first fell in love? When your child was born? When you accomplished an important goal? Life is filled with these joyful moments, and they are there for us to enjoy not just once, but many times over through our memories.
-Lissa Coffey
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“How can such deep-imprinted images sleep in us at times, till a word, a sound, awake them?”
-Gotthold E. Lessing (1729-1781) German dramatist
Last year, the images of 9/11 were vividly presented to us on television – so much so that we couldn’t get them out of our minds. We were consumed with information, and watched with tear-filled eyes and we tried to make sense of it all. Now some time has passed, and we’re starting to feel normal again. But this anniversary has brought up a lot of the same sadness and questions that we experienced one year ago. It is important for us to take time for reverence and remembrance, to acknowledge the events that took place and the far-reaching impact on our lives. And then, as time goes on, it is important for us to move on, too – knowing that the memories remain, there for us to call upon and reflect upon at the appropriate times.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ The long-term accommodation that protects marriage and other such relationships is… forgetfulness.”
-Alice Walker, You Can’t Keep a Good Woman Down (1981)
“Forgetfulness” goes beyond forgiveness. First you forgive, then you forget. This is present-moment awareness in action! The past is history – it’s gone, and it can certainly be forgotten. As we grow and change, as our relationships grow and change, forgetfulness can be a welcome accommodation!
-Lissa Coffey
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“The biggest mistake is believing there is one right way to listen, to talk, to have a conversation – or a relationship.”
-Deborah Tannen
A relationship is a living thing. It grows, evolves, and no two are the same. We need to care for our relationships, and that can mean different things in different circumstances. We need to pay attention to relationships that are important to us, and know that in return the relationship nurtures us.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.”
-Jane Austen, Sense and Sensibility (1811)
There are some people we just “click” with. Maybe it’s love at first sight, maybe it’s some kind of karmic recognition. But when this happens, it is usually a sign to pay attention – that this is an important relationship. We are here for each other. There is so much for us to accomplish together here in this space and time, and we are brought together to do just that.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Union is only possible to those who are units. To be fit for relations in time, souls, whether of man or woman, must be able to do without them in the spirit.”
-Margaret Fuller, Women in the Nineteenth Century (1845)
We are each whole, complete, and perfect just as we are. None of us needs another person to be fulfilled. There is no “other half” that needs to be found. Our primary relationship is with ourselves. And we can choose to share our selves, because we know what an unlimited supply of love is available to us! We learn and grow and give and receive from our relationships – and that is beautiful.
-Lissa Coffey
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“We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality.”
-Iris Murdoch
Have you ever been to Disneyworld? It’s a beautiful place – colorful, clean, fun, and full of surprises! And when we’re there, we know that it is all illusion – that it is all there for our enjoyment. We experience the rides as entertainment, even the scary roller-coasters. Yet when we’re in our own “world” we tend to take things so seriously. What would happen if we approached life as our own amusement park? Knowing that one ride takes us for a spin and another shakes us up and another lets us sit back and relax? What a concept! Then we could stop looking for reality all around us and start finding it inside of us.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ Reality has changed chameleonlike before my eyes so many times that I have learned, or am learning, to trust almost anything except what appears to be so.”
-Maya Angelou
Appearances change. Nothing in this exterior world stays the same. Have you ever gone to visit a place, only to return several years later and not even recognize it? Buildings go up and down, tenants move in and out, trees grow, signs change. People change, too. We all start out as babies, and our features mature as we age. Our hairstyles and clothes change with the trends. But what stays the same? Spirit. We can trust that love never goes out of style, and never moves away.
-Lissa Coffey
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“All our interior world is reality – and that perhaps more so than our apparent world.”
-Marc Chagall
Love, joy, bliss, peace – we experience all this in our interior world, yet we cannot draw a picture or take a photo of exactly what it looks like. Our interior world is so vast, so filled with amazing gifts. Yet where do we place our attention? We’re busy trying to make our apparent world, our exterior world, look good. When we look within, we find the abundance that we so desperately seek. It is there all the time!
-Lissa Coffey
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“Nothing which is at all times and in every way agreeable to us can have objective reality. It is of the very nature of the real that it should have sharp corners and rough edges, that it should be resistant, should be itself. Dream-furniture is the only kind on which you never stub your toes or bang your knee.”
-C.S. Lewis
We’ve often heard the phrase “harsh reality.” As if reality can smack us in the face. But that smack could just be a wake-up call to alert us to the bigger “reality.” When we stub a toe, we’re brought immediately to the present moment! Living in present-moment awareness we can more clearly see what is real and what is not, what is important and what is dispensable.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked, in which you can walk with love and reverence.”
-Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
We each make our own way, even though it might seem like a crazy way around to others! But as long as we’re learning and growing and having a good time, that’s all that is important. We all ultimately “get there” and realize that our own unique journey was the perfect one for us. We learn to go along purposefully and experience what we need to as we grow.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,
Is our destined end or way;
But to act, that each tomorrow
Find us farther than today.”
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)
This is from my favorite poem, “The Psalm of Life” which starts “Lives of great men remind us, we can make our lives sublime, and departing leave behind us, footprints in the sands of time.” It’s about following the examples laid before us, and at the same time, making our own way – becoming a new example, a new light to guide others. Longfellow understood that we need to keep going, to keep pursuing our spiritual growth, because that is our ultimate purpose.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ The purpose of life on earth is that the soul should grow –
So grow! By doing what is right.”
-Zelda Fitzgerald (1900-1948)
We have discovered the truth in this statement. We are actively pursuing our spiritual growth and consciously living our lives in such a way to accelerate that process. We know the importance of prayer, meditation, silence, and wisdom. And we have experienced the growth that comes with doing “what is right.” This is our purpose, and we can do nothing less.
-Lissa Coffey
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“The human soul, the world, the universe are laboring on to their magnificent consummation. We are not fashioned… marvelously for nought.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
There is a divine organization, an intelligence to all of creation – and here was are, a part of it all. It makes sense that we are here for a purpose. Life has meaning, and each life is meaningful.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving: To reach the port of heaven, we must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it – but we must sail, and not drift, nor lie at anchor.”
-Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. (1809-1984)
To progress we must make the effort. We must forge ahead. We must put ourselves out there and be open to experiences that challenge us. We can start right where we are, by knowing where we want to go.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ Progress has not followed a straight ascending line, but a spiral with rhythms of progress and regression, of evolution and dissolution.”
-Goethe (1749-1832)
Sometimes we need to take a few steps back in order to get a running start. We make mistakes, and as long as we learn from those mistakes, we progress, we grow. Eventually we get to a point where we can look back and see how far we’ve come. Then we can turn back around and see how far we have to go!
-Lissa Coffey
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“ Each step upward makes me feel stronger and fit for the next step.”
-Mohandas K. Gandhi (1869-1948)
One day at a time. One step at a time. Sometimes this journey is a struggle, like we’re trying to conquer some huge mountain. But as long as we keep going, we make progress. And our progress encourages us to keep going. We’re flexing our spiritual muscles, and getting stronger all the time.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ Our moral progress may be measured by the degree in which we sympathize with individual suffering and individual joy.”
-George Eliot (1819-1880)
Progress is learning more about who we are. Progress is understanding and relating and empathizing with other people because we realize that we are all in this together. There is no separation between us. When we can truly experience that Oneness, we will have made real progress!
-Lissa Coffey
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“The older one gets the more one feels that the present must be enjoyed: it is a precious gift, comparable to a state of grace.”
-Madame Curie, 1928
We do become more wise as we get older – and part of that is understanding the precious value of the present moment. Maybe it is because we have more of a past to look back on, so we can see just where and when we experienced the most beautiful times of our lives. And maybe it is because we have had more time to enjoy the moments, and we know how good that feels.
-Lissa Coffey
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“The present is the necessary product of all the past, the necessary cause of all the future.”
-Robert G. Ingersoll, 1899
I love it when I go to a large shopping mall or an amusement park, and there’s this big directory to help us find our way around. It’s like a map, and to help us get our bearings, there’s a big arrow that says “You Are Here!” How true is that?! Everything we’ve done in the past, every decision we’ve made, has led us exactly to this place and time. And from here, we go on. The choices we make now affect our future. When we live in the present moment, we make better decisions, we know where we are and where we are headed.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ Now or never! You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.”
-Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
This is such a powerful concept that entire books have been written on this very topic – Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now” is just one example. Now is the only time there is, and when we live in this very moment, all of our potential can be realized.
-Lissa Coffey
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“The present is the future of the past.”
-Karl Popper (1902-1994)
“We are tomorrow’s past.”
-Mary Webb, Precious Bane, 1924
We can’t change what has happened in the past. We can learn from it, and grow from it, and ultimately go on from where we are now. we cannot predict the future – it is filled with infinite possibilities. the best we can do is to live, and love, the moment we’re in. Life is like Disneyland – if we are thinking about the next ride and how we’re getting there, we can’t enjoy the ride we’re on right here and now!
-Lissa Coffey
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“ The purpose of prayer is to reveal the presence of God equally present, all the time, in every condition.”
-Oswald Chambers
We have learned, over and over again, that whatever we pay attention to becomes more important in our lives. When we pray, we are paying attention to our relationship with God. With our attention on the Divine, we see the infinite possibilities, the presence of the God, everywhere we go – because God IS everywhere and everything! We feel that presence, and it comforts us, and enlightens us.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Time spent on the knees in prayer will do more to remedy heart strain and nerve worry than anything else.”
-George David Stewart
Long before Prozac, there was prayer. Can you see the prescription now? “Pray two prayers, twice a day until symptoms subside. Then continue the treatment over the course of a lifetime to prevent symptoms from recurring.” Prayer is a remedy. We can turn our burdens over to God and feel the weight drop from our shoulders. Why do we feel the need to carry around all that heaviness? Pray. And then pray some more. And then keep praying. And feel the lightness return.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ Tomorrow I plan to work, work, from early until late. In fact I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer.”
-Martin Luther
Martin Luther knew that with so much work to do that he needed help. And he knew where to go for help and guidance. The more clear our thoughts, the more direction we allow ourselves to receive, then the faster and easier we will get there, and the more we will accomplish with the least amount of effort.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might also pray in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance.”
-Kahlil Gibran
There is no “right way” to pray. There is no “right time” to pray. Prayer is an ongoing dialogue, a soul connection with spirit, a fusion of physics and metaphysics. Prayer is our expression of gratitude, despair, longing, appreciation. It is one means of communication and communion with All That Is. Sometimes we’re praying and we don’t even realize it. Our actions reflect our thoughts; our thoughts are prayers. What are we thinking? What are we doing about it?
-Lissa Coffey
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“ I do the very best I know how – the very best I can; and I mean to keep doing so until the end. If the end brings me out all right, what is said against me won’t amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference.”
-Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)
We’re bound to receive criticism, either positive or negative, no matter what we do in this lifetime. It’s inevitable. So whom do we answer to? Only ourselves! We have to decide what is right, and what is right for us. We’re all doing the best we can.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ My soul preached to me and said, “Do not be delighted because of praise, and do not be distressed because of blame.’”
-Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
We must not get too caught up in the teeter-totter of outside commentary on our works. There will always be some who appreciate what we do and others who disparage it. The ego is what gets caught up in this game of needing approval. The soul is wise, and knows that life is a balance of opposites. The soul itself can’t be affected by praise or blame.
-Lissa Coffey
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“The house praises the carpenter.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
I guess this is another way of saying that your work speaks for itself. But I think it means more than that, too. It means that when we put the best of ourselves into something, we know it – it shows. And even if no one else can see it, we can be proud of our efforts.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ The advantage of doing one’s praising for oneself is that one can lay it on so thick and exactly in the right places.”
-Samuel Butler (1835-1902)
Every once in awhile we need to give ourselves a pat on the back. We’re each working so hard, doing our thing, and making our way. Too often we don’t get the praise we think we deserve. But that’s okay – because we can recognize our accomplishments and praise ourselves! And we ARE doing pretty well with all we’ve got going on. Kudos to you, dear friend!
-Lissa Coffey
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"Educate the heart - educate the heart."
-Hiram Powers
We know, conclusively and scientifically now, thanks to Dr. Paul Pearsall, that the heart has intelligence. Our hearts can literally "think!" We can listen to our hearts, we can follow our hearts. The best way to become sensitive to the heart's messages is through our spiritual practices. Take time to connect, to settle in and be peaceful. Allow your heart the time and space it needs to communicate! Rather than merely educating our hearts, which intuitively know what is best for us, spiritual practice is about educating ourselves to tune in to that intelligence.
-Lissa Coffey
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"Never bring the car home without gas in the tank."
-Ron Shelton
Our spiritual practice is as essential to our soul as food is to our body. Practice provides us with the fuel which gets us through those difficult times. It leads us to peace, clarity, wisdom, and so much more. And just like a car, we can run out of "gas" when we're stressed out from going for a lot of miles without a break. Make it a point to incorporate your spiritual practices into your day every day, and watch the difference in how you feel.
-Lissa Coffey
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"We call prayer... that speech of man to God which, whatever else is asked, ultimately asks for the manifestation of the divine Presence."
-Martin Buber (1878-1965) Eclipse of God: Studies in the Relation between Religion and Philosophy
The divine Presence is with us always. Here, now and always. It's just that we are not always aware of that presence. We're so busy getting things done and just handling life that our attention is elsewhere. That's why it is so important to spend time on our spiritual practices. During that time, we remind ourselves of who we really are, and of what is really important. Taking some time to center ourselves with spiritual practice helps everything in our lives flow more smoothly.
-Lissa Coffey
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"Whoever perseveres will be crowned."
-Johann Gottfried von Herder (German author, 1744-1803)
Remember the old joke, "How do you get to Carnegie Hall?" The punchline is "Practice, practice, practice!" Funny, but oh, so true! How do we reach that peace of mind, how do we get to that spiritual place that we're looking for? The answer is the same: Practice, practice, practice! We're going to get better at seeing ourselves as who we really are the more we practice actually being it. Whatever practice you choose, practice on a regular basis, practice every day, twice a day or more so.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ Perfection consists not in doing extraordinary things, but in doing ordinary things extraordinarily well. Neglect nothing; the most trivial action may be performed to God.”
-Angelique Arnauld
Perfection is sometimes given a ranking – like a perfect “10” in gymnastics, or a 6.0 in a figure skating competition. But think about it. A lot of people can do a cartwheel, a lot of people can ice skate. These are not extraordinary things. But the way that they are executed in these world championships are! That’s how we can have something to aspire to. Those athletes are the role models for “perfection” in that sport. And yet, those athletes always see room for improvement in some way or another. So, in life, as we aspire to perfection in our spiritual world – we have role models, too. We’d probably give Gandhi or Mother Teresa a “10” – but, they would be the first to say that they were not perfect! Part of our spiritual growth is recognizing that there’s always more to learn.
-Lissa Coffey
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“The true perfection of man lies, not in what man has, but in what man is.”
-Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
What man is. Not what man does, says, earns, drives, etc! Each of us, each man, woman and child, IS perfect, simply because we are. How cool is that? When we know the truth, and live it, then we know how cool it is, and how cool we are!
-Lissa Coffey
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“Everything, by an impulse of its own nature, tends towards its perfection.”
-Dante (A.D. 1265-1321)
Is it our nature to seek perfection? Or can we understand that it is our imperfections that make us perfect! We are here on this earth to learn and grow and experience. If we were already “perfect” what would be the point? If we were already perfect wouldn’t we be bored? We can always strive towards being the best that we can possibly be as human beings – knowing that a perfect human being is must by design be imperfect in some beautiful way.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ Ring the bells that still can ring,
forget your perfect offering.
There’s a hole in everything,
That’s how the light comes thru.”
-Leonard Cohen (1934- )
A big trend in decorating right now is making things looked aged, worn, or imperfect. This adds a sense of history and comfort to a room. The theory is that when everything is new and perfect, it isn’t as relaxing to be in that space. Here we are, living in the space of our imperfect human form – let us see the beauty in our imperfections, that is where our souls shine through!
-Lissa Coffey
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"If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change."
-Buddha
Our perception tends to be that growth is hard, that it is a struggle, that it is work. But the truth is that we are only making it hard on ourselves. We cling to the past, try to control our futures. Are we willing to get out of our own way and just let it be? It could be so simple! Look at the flower. Learn from the flower. We can bloom just as easily.
-Lissa Coffey
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"Change your thoughts, and in the twinkling of an eye, all your conditions change. Your world is a world of crystallized ideas, crystallized words. Sooner or later, you reap the fruits of your words and thoughts."
-Florence Scovel Shinn
Our perceptions are all in our mind. So it makes sense that if we change our mind, we change our perceptions. And when we change our perceptions, we change our reality! We can experience more of the Truth of this wonderful world, the beauty, the peace, the prosperity, the abundance, the clarity. Choose to see it. Choose to live it!
-Lissa Coffey
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To a large degree "reality" is whatever the people who are around at the time agree to."
-Milton H. Miller
Basically, the consensus of social perception is what shapes our "reality." What we see in the media is a reflection of what the general population has "agreed" is "the way things are." But... things are changing! There is a subtle shift towards a more spiritual life. Sociologists have recognized a growing number of people as "Cultural Creatives" who are leaders in developing all kinds of trends. All of us out there reading spiritual books, doing yoga, serving the community, showing kindness and pursuing our own spiritual growth - we are the cultural creatives! By sharing ourselves and our experiences, we are making a difference in the world... and the difference is good!
-Lissa Coffey
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"We do not see things as they are. We see them as we are."
-The Talmud
We're each looking through different eyes, bringing our own experiences and emotions to whatever it is we're looking at. This is perception. Perception can change. The TRUTH remains the same... but do we see it? Do we see spirit in everything and everyone? We must recognize the spirit within ourselves and then we will see it reflected back at us everywhere we go!
-Lissa Coffey
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"Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that are forever blowing through one's mind."
-Mark Twain
Isn't it amazing how we can each see the same thing in an entirely different way? It's because of our perceptions. Our past experiences help us to formulate some kind of definition to our current experiences. Yet we can change the way we look at things. We can choose a different perspective, see things from someone else's point of view, or from a higher vantage point. And when we broaden our scope and look at the "big picture" then we can see more clearly what is real.
-Lissa Coffey
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Sublime is the moment
When the world is at peace
And the limitless deep
Lies bathed in the morning sun.
-Hirohito (1901-1989) Untitled poem.
This is something we can all visualize. We've all had glimpses of what peace feels like. Imagine if everyone in the whole world could have that feeling all at the same time. Possible? As an optimist, I have to say yes. Peace is real, it is inherent in each one of us. And there are an infinite number of possibilities that could lead to world peace. One by one we are creating a world where peace comes naturally, and stays.
-Lissa Coffey
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"Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process, gradually changing opinions, slowly eroding old barriers, quietly building new structures."
-John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) United Nations address, Sept 1961
What I like about this quote is that while President Kennedy was obviously talking about the world situation, about establishing world peace, it also works really well if you apply the worlds toward INNER peace. Isn't this the process that we all go through to attain higher states of consciousness and become at peace with ourselves? We change our minds, and our thoughts, to reflect what we learn and experience. We gently and quietly build new patterns and practices that help to bring peace to both our inner and outer worlds.
-Lissa Coffey
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"I have found that life persists in the midst of destruction and therefore must be a higher law than that of destruction. Only under that law would a well-ordered society be intelligible and life worth living."
-Mahatma Gandhi
With everything we've been through these past few months, these words ring true, loud and clear. Peace is a process, an ongoing movement that doesn't stand still. We are all a part of this process, and our contributions to a peaceful society make a difference.
-Lissa Coffey
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"Speak, move, act in peace, as if you were in prayer. In truth, this is prayer."
-Francis de S. Fenelon (1651-1715), Fr. archbishop
It is wonderful to think of peace as a prayer. Peace is one of those amazing things that grows when it is out in the light. Share peace, distribute it freely, be generous with your portions and there will be lots more to go around!
-Lissa Coffey
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"Our goal must be not peace in our time but peace for all time."
-Harry S. Truman (1884-1972) Informal remarks, Galesberg, Illinois, 1950
In turbulent times, where is our attention? On the problem? Or on the desired outcome? What can we do to help the world situation, while we are here comfortable in our homes and we know that others are suffering? We can't all go out and battle, nor would that help even if we could. We must think peace. We must bring our attention to peace. We must create a unified consciousness of PEACE ON EARTH, GOODWILL TO ALL. We must build a class consciousness of love and caring. Starting right here and right now, with each one of us.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Steady, patient, persevering thinking, will generally surmount every obstacle in the search after truth.”
-Nathaniel Emmons (1745-1840)
Aren’t we all together in this search for Truth? Our quest for spiritual growth is impressive! And that’s what will get us there – the way that we surmount those obstacles and continue on. We know that we must be patient with our journey, and patient with ourselves. We know that there is no “instant” answer, but that answers unfold before us with wisdom and grace. We know that our patience is rewarded continually as we grow and experience more of who we really are.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Patience is not passive: on the contrary it is active; it is concentrated strength.”
-Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (1803-1873) English novelist
Look at people who are patient. Along with patience comes a kind of calm, a deep faith, a beautiful presence. Compared with people who are impatient – who seem stressed out, angry, and hurried. Who has more strength? The patient person can do anything because that person recognizes his or her connection with the Universe. Patience can move mountains!
-Lissa Coffey
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“How poor are they that have not patience!
What wound did ever heal but by degrees?”
-Shakespeare, Othello
Sometimes we need to just get out of our own way and let nature do its thing. The seasons know how to change. It does no good to try to “hurry things up” so we can fit in one more vacation or whatever! So many things in this world just take care of themselves. There is an organizing power to the universe. Shouldn’t we allow this power to work for us? All we have to do is be patient. Everything will work out the way that it is supposed to.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ What is your need to eat the seed,
When growth might be so sweet?”
-Ann Wickham, 1915
Ah, this sounds almost like an offer, doesn’t it? Maybe we have a choice – instant, yet temporary satisfaction now – or a more long-lasting and genuine appreciation if we but wait a little bit. Patience brings its own rewards. When we are children, we want everything NOW! It is difficult for us to sit still and wait for anything. But as the years go by, we understand that some things are worth the wait. We begin to put great value on patience.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Passion is what the sun feels for the earth
When harvests ripen into golden birth.”
-Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1888)
This is so beautifully said. That’s one of the things that makes poetry so amazing – that with just a few words you can get an image, or a feeling across. We can imagine the sun’s feelings, and recognize them as our own. This passion is fiery like the sun, but also strong and proud and everlasting.
-Lissa Coffey
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“How little do they know human nature, who think they can say to passion, so far shalt thou go, and no farther!”
-Sarah Scott (1750)
It’s probably a very good thing that we can’t stop our true passions! Passion is exactly what drove Einstein, Madame Curie, Mother Teresa, and many more people who have had a positive impact on our world! Passion helps us to progress; it keeps us going despite the invariable obstacles. Every great achievement began with someone’s passion, and was carried forward by that momentum.
-Lissa Coffey
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“The fiery moments of passionate experience are the moments of wholeness and totality of the personality.”
-Anais Nin (1968)
Passion is often associated with fire. It feels “hot.” It feels like it could consume us. We need to pay attention to the things that we feel passionate about. Our passions are tools which help us to learn and grow. When we are pursuing our passions we feel alive, we are living in the moment, taking it all in and savoring each experience. The are the times when we are more of who we really are, and we know it.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ It is the soul’s duty to be loyal to its own desires. It must abandon itself to its master passion.”
-Rebecca West (1985)
Something within us helps us to find our passions. It’s not like a conscious choice, like looking through a catalog and picking a hobby or something. We are drawn to things that we feel passionate about. We can’t help but move towards things that give us that drive, that energy, that life force that is so all-encompassing. We have the desires, and the passions that we have for a reason. And pursuing our passions is one of the most important things we can do while we're living our lives.
-Lissa Coffey
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"There is a Law of Reversed Effort. The harder we try with the conscious will to do something, the less we shall succeed. Proficiency and the results of proficiency come only to those who have learned the paradoxical art of doing and not doing, or combining relaxation with activity, of letting go as a person in order that the immanent and transcendent Unknown Quantity may take hold. We cannot make ourselves understand; the most we can do is to foster a state of mind, in which understanding may come to us."
-Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)
In "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success" Deepak Chopra writes about "The Law of Least Effort" and tells us that we can actually do less, and accomplish more. He talks about working with the natural intelligence of nature, going with the flow. If you haven't read the book before, I recommend it- it's one of those books you can read over and over again and get something different out of it each time. Nature is a great example for us - it doesn't struggle, it just is. Eagles don't wish to be tigers, tigers don't try to fly.
-Lissa Coffey
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" Almost anything you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it."
-Mohandas K. Gandhi (1869-1948)
If you look at the universe from the beginning of time - (and yet was there a beginning?) until as far as we can imagine into the future - each little action we take may be considered insignificant. And yet, it's not. Every action we take has some impact on our spiritual growth. It might seem like little tiny baby steps when we're wanting to take great leaps and bounds- but each step, large or small, is significant nonetheless. We've got to keep going.
-Lissa Coffey
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" God hides things by putting them near us."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
Isn't this so true? It's one of those "forest for the trees" examples. There is joy and love and beauty all around us, and right inside of us… and yet where do we look? Many of the great spiritual teachers answer every question they are asked with the same statement: "Look within." They might say it in hundreds of different ways, but the meaning is the same. It's so simple, and yet so complex- what a paradox!
-Lissa Coffey
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" All cases are unique, and very similar to others."
-T.S. Eliot (1888-1965)
I find this to be true every day of my life. We're each living our individual lives, going about our business, and our families- and when we take time to connect with each other, we find out that so often we're going through the same things! We can relate to each other, because in a way we're living out the same scenarios. It helps to share our experiences, rather than to feel that we're in it alone.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Originality is… a by-product of sincerity.”
-Marianne Moore, in Vogue, 1963
Sincerity is honesty, truth, meaningfulness. And when we share who we really are, we are absolutely original and true to ourselves. What a wonderful thing it is to be an original!
-Lissa Coffey
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“True originality consists not in a new manner but in a new vision.”
-Edith Wharton, The Writing of Fiction, 1925
Each of us has eyes through which we see the world, and no two visions are exactly alike. But because we are conditioned to go along with the crowd, our vision gets blurred, and starts to look like everyone else’s. When we close our eyes, tap into our Source, and let Nature’s creativity and intelligence flow through us, we can restore our vision and our originality. We allow our inner artist to shine through!
-Lissa Coffey
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“Originality consists not only in doing things differently, but also in ‘doing things better.’”
-Edward C. Stedman (1833-1908)
I think that this is what inventors have in mind when they come up with all these original concepts. It’s all about progress, growth, building on what has been done before and expanding on what we have learned. And isn’t life like that, too? With human relationships, and our own spiritual growth, we want to “do things better” and improve ourselves and our circumstances. We read books, and take advice, but how we apply it is individual and original to ourselves.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ People are always talking about originality; but what do they mean? As soon as we are born, the world begins to work upon us, and this goes on to the end. What can we call our own except energy, strength, and will? If I could give an account of all that I owe to great predecessors and contemporaries, there would be but a small balance in my favor.”
-Goethe (1749-1832)
Some people say that there is nothing original anymore, that it’s all “been done.” But how can that be? There are infinite possibilities out there, even the “same thing” can be done in infinitely different ways. The originality comes from ourselves, and what we bring to the task at hand. We can be inspired from those whose work has come before, but we can never re-create it in exactly the same way.
-Lissa Coffey
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"I don't believe in pessimism. If something doesn't come up the way you want, forge ahead. If you think it's going to rain, it will."
-Clint Eastwood
Our thoughts have so much power - we can color our day, and our world, with the thoughts that we think. So why not think optimistically? Why not think only of the best, the brightest, the most beautiful outcome in any given situation? We can make it happen. Anything is possible, ANYTHING... so let's not defeat ourselves before we've even started by thinking negatively. Be an optimist, and let those optimistic vibes out into the world today!
-Lissa Coffey
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"An optimist is the human personification of spring."
-Susan J. Bissonette, in Reader's Digest (1979)
A person with a good attitude is the kind of person we all want to be around. He or she knows how to bring warmth and light to any situation. We can be that kind of a person, too. It's just a matter of looking at things positively, of finding the good that others might not see. Good is always there, and it grows when we put our attention on it.
-Lissa Coffey
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"From every scrap you make a blanket."
-Rose Chernin, in Kim Chernin, "In My Mother's House" (1983)
When life gives you lemons... you know the rest. The sweet lemonade quenches our thirst. We can turn around a situation to benefit us. When life gives us scraps, we can make a blanket! That is so beautiful... a blanket represents warmth, security, comfort. We can literally make something real, something substantial and useful from what might be perceived as "nothing." Look around, what scraps can we turn into blankets today?
-Lissa Coffey
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"I've got to admit it's getting better
It's a little better all the time."
-John Lennon (1940-1980) and Paul McCartney (1942-) "Getting Better" 1967
When we learn to look at the world optimistically, we see that there is some evolution going on, some growth spiritually that just naturally takes place. We might lose sight of it at times, but because we are growing spiritually, things ARE getting better! And they're getting better all the time.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ The natural world is dynamic. From the expanding universe to the hair on a baby’s head, nothing is the same from now to the next moment.”
-Helen Hoover, The Waiting Hills, 1963
It is true that we are constantly changing. We understand and even welcome change when it comes to nature. We look forward to the warmth of Summer after a rainy spring. We do not mourn when Autumn turns to Winter – because we realize that it is time moving forward, that it is all a part of the cycle necessary for growth and evolution. And still, as humans, we tend to resist change, to deny it, or fight it. But Nature and its laws understand that we all fit into the big picture, and so we are along for the ride, like it or not! We might as well enjoy it, appreciate it, and learn and grow from the experience.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Ah, dear nature, the mere remembrance, after a short forgetfulness, of the pine woods! I come to it as a hungry man to a crust of bread.”
-Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
Nature can nourish us, refresh us, and replenish us. Time spent with nature helps to still the mind, to quiet the activity of our thoughts. Nature provides us with everything we need for our bodies with its bounty of fruits, grains and vegetables. Yet nature’s “food for thought” – its pure silence, is just as necessary for our health, mentally, physically and spiritually.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Nothing in nature is isolated. Nothing is without reference to something else. Nothing achieves meaning apart from that which neighbors it.”
-Goethe (1749-1832)
Everything we have, everything we see, everything we are, has its roots in nature. We are all made up of the same basic materials! Look at your desk, the paper, wood and wicker that come from the trees, which grow from the earth. We feel disassociated from nature when we work in an office, and yet we can never get away from it. The water that runs through the rivers, and through our taps, and through our bodies, is all a part of nature. We are connected to the planet, and to each other, in ways seen and unseen.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Nature is ever at work building and pulling down, creating and destroying, keeping everything whirling and flowing, allowing no rest but in rhythmical motion, chasing everything in endless song out of one beautiful form into another.”
-John Muir (1838-1914)
Who taught the grass to grow, or the bird to sing? Who makes the wind blow, or told the lion roar? It is nature. It is nature being true to Itself. Does the bird aspire to roar? Or the lion “really want to direct?” We can learn from nature, to be true to ourselves, to let our natural talents and instincts shine in endless song. And then, to grow and change and go with the flow, knowing that all of our roles in this life eventually turn from one beautiful form into another.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Music comes first from my heart, and then goes upstairs to my head where I check it out.”
-Roberta Flack (1993)
Writing music is a spiritual experience. It comes from within and bubbles forth. I know people who are musical geniuses, expressing music is their dharma. It’s an amazing experience when you’re in your dharma, and doing what you’re really supposed to be doing. It comes easily, effortlessly, with timeless awareness. And when you’re done you look at what you’ve produced with amazement, like someone else must have done it. Where did this come from? The same place everything else comes from – God.
Lissa Coffey
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“Nothing recalls the past like music.”
-Madame de Stael, Corinne (1807)
We’ve all had that experience of driving around in the car, flipping around the radio stations, when a certain song comes on that takes us back to our junior year in high school, the dance, the gym, our “crush” at the time. Music has a way of doing that. It creeps into our memory and imprints itself onto our psyche. When we hear a familiar song again, we can repeat the lyrics, even if has been years since we last heard it play. That’s one reason why couples have “their song” – to remember the romance and take themselves back to the time when they were falling in love.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Music is your own experience, your own thoughts, your wisdom. If you don’t live it, it won’t come out of your horn. They teach you there’s a boundary line to music. But, man, there’s no boundary line to art.”
-Charlie Parker (1920-1955)
Whatever we create comes through us. It is our own expression of music, or any kind of art, that makes it unique and original. Music is a part of the universe, and when we take the time to listen, we can channel it through to our everyday lives. There are infinite possibilities before us, and music is one way that we can experience that.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard
Are sweeter.”
-John Keats (1795-1821)
When we listen very carefully to the silence we can hear the songs of the universe. These songs are playing all the time, yet we are unaware of them because so many other things are going on at the same time. When we take the time to slow down, and “tune in” to these beautiful sounds, we are enraptured. God is a musician.”
-Lissa Coffey
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“No matter how old a mother is she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.”
-Florida Scott-Maxwell, The Measure of My Days (1968)
Does a mother ever stop being a mother? No. It’s as simple as that. There is always a connection between us, there is always a feeling of “unfinished business” because a mother considers her child a “work in progress!” And with the most loving intention, she wants what is best for us. To all moms out there: “Mom, I have what is best for me, I have you for a mother. You taught me to make good decisions, and I want you to know that you can trust me to make the best decisions for myself. I love you. Happy Mother’s Day! And yes, I will clean my room!”
-Lissa Coffey
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“Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes, by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers and sisters, aunts and cousins, comrades and friends – but only one mother in the whole world.”
-Kate Douglas Wiggen, in Charles L. Wallis, ed., The Treasure Chest (1965)
We have the mother that we have for a reason. We have the children that we have for a reason. There are no accidents and no coincidences. Cherish your mother. Cherish her presence in your life for reasons known and unknown and beyond understanding.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Nothing else ever will make you as happy or as sad, as proud or as tired, for nothing is quite as hard as helping a person develop his own individuality – especially while you struggle to keep your own.”
-Marguerite Kelly and Elia Parsons, The Mother’s Almanac (1975)
I can honestly say that I have learned more from the experience of parenthood than I have from any other experience in my life. There is nothing as challenging, or as rewarding, as raising a child – living with this growing and expanding young soul as it finds its place and recognizes its divinity. All of the trials and episodes and celebrations that we have been through have strengthened my spirit and given me daily evidence of God’s presence.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Nothing else ever will make you as happy or as sad, as proud or as tired, for nothing is quite as hard as helping a person develop his own individuality – especially while you struggle to keep your own.”
-Marguerite Kelly and Elia Parsons, The Mother’s Almanac (1975)
I can honestly say that I have learned more from the experience of parenthood than I have from any other experience in my life. There is nothing as challenging, or as rewarding, as raising a child – living with this growing and expanding young soul as it finds its place and recognizes its divinity. All of the trials and episodes and celebrations that we have been through have strengthened my spirit and given me daily evidence of God’s presence.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ The most important thing she’s learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”
-Jill Churchill, Grime and Punishment (1989)
There’s always been this sort of pressure on mothers, from society and from ourselves. No matter what we do, how “good” we are, it never seems to measure up to how good we think we “should” be. Mothers take the heat, and are the subject of many sessions at the therapist’s office! But we’ve got to remember that we’re all just doing the best that we can. We are each on our own path, mother, son, daughter – and where our lives come together we live and grow and help each other the best that we can.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Love the moment and the energy of the moment will spread beyond all boundaries.”
-Corita Kent
Love the moment. Isn’t that great? As you’re reading this, take one moment right now and love it, just simply love it. That energy is just extending beyond your circle of influence out into the world – whether you realize it or not! ‘Spontaneous moment-loving’: now there’s a concept! Imagine how the energy of the whole planet would shift if we all did that at the same time…
-Lissa Coffey
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“ A player’s effectiveness is directly related to his ability to be right there, doing that thing, in the moment… He can’t be worrying about the past or the future or the crowd or some other extraneous event. He must be able to respond in the here and now.”
-John Brodie
John Brodie is the famous former quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers. How do I know this? My brother and my father were BIG fans when we were living in the Bay Area. Athletes know how important it is to be fully present in the moment when competing. There are too many factors that have to fall into place to succeed – and the only way to get them to do that is to be there: mentally, physically and spiritually.
-Lissa Coffey
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“I always say to myself, what is the most important thing we can think about at this extraordinary moment.”
-Francois de La Rochefoucauld
There are no ordinary moments – each moment is new and unique, so each moment is extraordinary. We can fill that moment with extraordinary thoughts, extraordinary deeds, extraordinary attention. We can choose to think of peace, to recognize beauty, to experience joy. This moment is ours, and we can choose what to do with it.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Let me tell thee, time is a very precious gift of God, so precious that it’s only given to us moment by moment.”
-Amelia Barr
Have you ever watched a television game show? In most of the games, there is an element of time involved. You’re up against the clock. You have 2 minutes to race through a grocery story, or 30 seconds to come up with the right answer. If you happen to be the person playing that game, you realize just how precious each one of those moments are! You focus your attention, and use the time wisely to win the game. Well, we’re lucky that life is not a game show! We have all the time we need to learn and grow and accomplish what we need to in this life. And we can start anytime, so why not start now? The prizes are all around us, just waiting to be won.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ The gift of learning to meditate is the greatest gift you can give yourself in this life. For it is only through meditation that you can undertake the journey to discover your true nature, and so find the stability and confidence you will need to live, and die, well. Meditation is the road to enlightenment.”
Sogyal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, 1992
There are so many different ways of meditating. The key is to find one that works for you and then practice it regularly. It is through the regular practice of meditation that we experience its benefits. We learn more about ourselves, and our world, and can see things so much more clearly and calmly.
Lissa Coffey
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“ Meditation is the action of silence.”
-Krishnamurti (1895-1986)
Meditation is, quite simply, one of the best things we can do for ourselves and our spiritual growth. Our souls need silence the way our bodies need the air we breathe. Because we are so bombarded with activity and “noise” in our busy lives, we much actively pursue this silence. We must seek it out, and take it in, and then we will understand the good that is does for us.
-Lissa Coffey
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“The very best and utmost attainment in this life is to remain still and let God act and speak in thee.”
-Meister Eckhart
All the wisdom of the universe can be found in silence, can be experienced through meditation. When we are quiet, we allow spirit in, we are in-spired! This is how we get the answers we seek, this is how God communicates with us.
-Lissa Coffey
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“You are used to listening to the buzz of the world, but now is the time to develop the inner ear that listens to the inner world. It is time to have a foot in each world, and it can be done.”
-Saint Bartholomew
It’s all about balance. Rather than getting inundated by the buzz of the world, we can tune in to the silence, turn on that higher frequency and experience what really matters. And then the beauty of meditation is that we bring that experience of stillness back into our activity, and find that life is just so much easier and more fulfilling. We are better able to feel the joy that is always there.
-Lissa Coffey
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" How can you say luck and chance are the same thing? Chance is the first step you take, luck is what comes afterwards."
-Amy Tan, The Kitchen God's Wife, 1991
We need to be ready and willing to take that chance when it comes along - seize the day - take hold of the opportunity! And then, see what happens! Whether or not it turns out the way we had hoped, maybe that has something to do with luck. But we'll never know unless we try. And we'll learn and grow and stretch ourselves by taking those chances - and isn't that lucky anyway?
-Lissa Coffey
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"It is a great piece of skill to know how to guide your luck even while waiting for it."
-Baltasar Gracian (1601-1658)
Go ahead and carry that four-leaf clover, or pick up that lucky penny- it couldn't hurt! But meanwhile, we need to take the necessary steps to create our own opportunities. By being opening to what presents itself, we become lucky - we recognize when the universe is working to help us realize our goals, and we go along with that plan.
-Lissa Coffey
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" Good luck is another name for tenacity of purpose."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)
Is there such a thing as luck? It's hard to argue against it. So much of what we go through can be explained away by luck, either good or bad. One famous saying is that luck is when preparation meets opportunity. I think most of the time we find, or even create, our own luck, just by being ready for it. What if you knew that today was your lucky day? Where would you go, or what would you do, to find your luck?
-Lissa Coffey
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"Luck is not chance-
It's Toil-
Fortune's expensive smile
Is earned - "
-Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)
We hear time and time again that good luck is all about hard work. But isn't life like that, too? We get out of it what we put into it.
-Lissa Coffey
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"Some day, after we have mastered the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness... the energies of love. Then, for the second time in the history of the world, we will have discovered fire."
-Pierre Tielhard de Chardin
Is there anything more powerful than love? Love is creative; with love we can accomplish anything. With love we have accomplished everything! Love is the great up-lifter, the strongest force there is. Love heals. Love grows. Love is the basis for life itself. Love is invisible, and yet ever-present. Love is the most valuable gift we will ever give or receive, and yet love is perfectly free.
-Lissa Coffey
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"All's love, yet all's law."
-Robert Browning
Love and Law are two sides of the same coin. Everything is love, and at the same time, everything has that organizing power that we can totally count on. There is a reason why we love someone or something. There is a creative purpose to our love. We are not under some spell like the characters in "A Midsummer Night's Dream." We love who we love because God, the Universe, brought us together to learn and grow and experience more of our Selves. Love is divine, and yet love is totally practical.
-Lissa Coffey
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"Love is a fire and I am wood."
-Rumi
Love has been the subject for poets throughout the ages. In contemporary times, think of how many songs we hear that are all about love! According to the lyrics, "Love is all there is," and "Love can move mountains." Love brings us to the movies, where we can see love
acted out larger than life and feel our emotions stir. We are drawn to love because that is what we all crave more of. And we crave love because that is what we are made of! Love brings us to our true nature. We are consumed by it because we want to know who we really are, and love allows us to experience that.
-Lissa Coffey
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"We may think of the Divine as a fire whose outgoing warmth pervades the Universe."
-Plotinus
Many people say God IS love. And love certainly pervades the Universe. Love is something we all understand, something we can all relate to. Every mother knows what it means to love a child. Every person is capable of giving and receiving love. In A Course in Miracles, fear is defined as the absence of love. Much like darkness is the absence of light. Let's light that fire, and light up the world with our outpouring of love!
-Lissa Coffey
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“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
-Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
We need to ask ourselves: Are we living the life that we want to live? If not, then make some changes! Life is too short, life is too precious, to miss out on. Every moment is holy. It is there for us to embrace. How many moments go by without notice? Are we spending our time analyzing the past, which is done and gone – or planning for the future, which is changing every instant? Or are we living, truly LIVING in this moment, NOW, where our life is taking place? It is not enough to exist, choose to live!
-Lissa Coffey
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“ I slept and dreamt that life way joy.
I awoke and saw that life was duty.
I acted and behold, duty was joy.”
-Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941)
There’s no doubt that life can be hard. And yet life is poetic. What we learn in our time here is beautiful. All that we really take with us is the wisdom we garner. Life is full of joy. We were blessed, against all odds, to be here, in this time and place, in this particular circumstance. It is our duty to live this life and to get all that we can from the experience.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ Life is what happens to you
While you’re busy
Making other plans.”
-John Lennon (1940-1980)
We go about our lives trying really hard to keep everything in order, all the plates spinning: jobs, family, friends, community responsibilities, etc. But every once in awhile something happens that is beyond our reach, out of our control. Maybe someone we love gets sick, or we have a bad financial setback. Now our attention is elsewhere, and it seems that everything else gets out of balance, too. The truth is that we can’t control everything, and that we probably wouldn’t be any good at it if we could! But we can control our responses to these unexpected situations. We can use our problems as opportunities to learn and to grow. These are the times when we find that reserve of strength that was there all along. We discover more of who we really are, and what we’re really capable of.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.”
-Samuel Butler (1835-1902)
Can’t you just picture that? It’s so true! Here we are, living our lives, not really knowing what we’re doing until actually doing it. We’re finding our way, step by step, day by day. We will stumble, hit some sour notes, learn a few lessons, and write our own songs. An audience may reject our music, or embrace it, but we keep on playing because the instrument is there for us. And someday, with enough practice, we will be a master life-liver, a virtuoso!
-Lissa Coffey
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"Leisure, some degree of it, is necessary to the health of every man's spirit."
-Harriet Martineau, Society in America (1837)
A woman said this, so we can assume that she naturally meant every man and woman's spirit! And this is so true. We care for the health of our body by eating right and exercising. We care for our mental health by learning new things and solving problems. The best way to care for the health of our spirit is to enjoy some time at leisure, doing what we love to do. It's refreshing and invigorating!
-Lissa Coffey
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" Leisure requires the evidence of our own feelings, because it is not so much a quality of time as a peculiar state of mind… What being at leisure means is more easily felt than defined."
-Vernon Lee, "About Leisure," Limbo, 1908
By this definition it sounds like leisure is the opposite of stress. Ah! So, maybe there is an antidote after all! Perhaps we can choose to work leisurely and enjoy the time we spend getting things done - rather than work under stress, wishing we were doing something, anything ELSE! Perhaps it is a state of mind, one that we can tap into for our own benefit.
-Lissa Coffey
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"He enjoys true leisure who has time to improve his soul's estate."
-Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
Spiritually, we know that there is no such thing as time. And yet, here we are, living this existence, and we have these constraints to deal with. There is only so much time, so many hours in a day, so many vacation days in a year. So, how do we spend out time? And more importantly, how do we spend our precious leisure time? If we take Thoreau's advice, we spend that time in spiritual pursuits, and then we understand how wonderful leisure can really be.
-Lissa Coffey
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" Leisure is the mother of Philosophy."
-Thomas Hobbes (1588-1679)
Leisure is our topic this week. We're in the midst of summer and I hope it is what on our minds at least some of the time! Remember the "Leisure Suits" that were so popular in the 70's? As if we needed the appropriate attire to lounge around in… It seems funny now, but it was so stylin' then! But maybe the real point was that we didn't necessarily need the suits, but we did, and do, need the leisure. In some strange way, that was brought to our attention. When I saw this quote was from Thomas Hobbes in the 1600's - I thought - it could very well be from another famous Hobbes from the late 1900's- Hobbes the tiger from the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip! Bill Watterson doesn't draw that strip anymore, but there are so many classics of his that make the same statement. Maybe that's how he came up with the name?
-Lissa Coffey
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“ I am still learning.”
-Michelangelo (1475-1564)
Michelangelo was a master – no one would dispute that. And yet, he knew there was always room for growth. I think we go around a little too confident in our own skills, and then we get reminded that we still have much to learn. We drive around everywhere, especially here in Southern California, almost on auto-pilot, not really aware of what we’re doing… until one day we get a ticket, and our attention turns to the laws of the road while we’re sitting in traffic school. There are spiritual laws that we know about, too, but are we paying attention to those? We can always learn more.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ You learn more from getting your butt kicked than from getting it kissed.”
-Tom Hanks (1957- )
We often call life experiences the “school of hard knocks” because we learn from going through those rough times. And we end up being better people because of it! As hard as it may be at the time, we can be grateful for the tough times, because they give us the opportunity to learn and grow.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ It is impossible for a man to begin to learn what he thinks he knows.”
-Epictetus (A.D. 55? – 135?)
The most important ingredient in learning is an open mind. We need to approach each experience willing to take in the lesson and see the growth in ourselves. We can begin anytime, we can begin right now!
-Lissa Coffey
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“A primary method of learning is to go from the familiar to the unfamiliar.”
-Glenn Doman, How to Teach Your Baby to Read, 1964
Simple steps. And yet the unfamiliar often scares us, so that first step is the most difficult! Why not just step into the unknown? If we really want to grow, we’ve got to learn, and that means that we might have to start doing things differently to make space for that in our lives. No risk, no reward.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.”
-Mother Teresa
Now is the time for us to take initiative. We could wait forever for someone to tell us what to do – or we could just go out and do what we know needs to be done! We are each the leaders of our own lives. We decide. We choose.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Divide and rule, the politician cries;
Unite and lead, is watchword of the wise.”
-Goethe (1749-1832)
It has been said a million different ways, a million different times: we’re all in this together. Great leaders understand this and show us just how much we have in common. Together, with all of our talents and intelligence working as one, we can accomplish so much, more so than we ever could alone.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Great leadership arises out of great conflict.”
-James MacGregor Burns (1918- )
In turbulent times, we often find that the best is brought out in us. When there is a need, we rise to the occasion. All of our natural instincts kick in and we help, and serve, and show compassion and empathy. It happens time and time again. But we don’t need to wait for a crisis to help each other. There are opportunities for us to do so every day.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ The task of leadership is not to put greatness into humanity, but to elicit it, for the greatness is already there.”
-John Buchan (1875-1940)
Great leaders see the greatness in the community. They understand what the community has to offer and they seek ways to express that. We can each be a leader, right where we are, just by noticing all the good around us, and bringing it to the attention of others.
-Lissa Coffey
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“A good laugh is sunshine in a house.”
-William Makepeace Thackeray
Norman Cousins discovered personally, and wrote eloquently, about the healing power of laughter. Laughter is good medicine. When we laugh, we can’t help but feel good. We feel good around people who laugh, people who enjoy life and can express themselves so freely. Here’s a little story I heard that might get you giggling:
A wealthy man dies and goes to Heaven. He brings with him all of his earthly belongings when he meets St. Peter at the gate. St. Peter says: “Oh, my… you know, you can’t bring any of that in here.” The man pleads his case, he worked so hard for everything and can’t bear to leave it all behind. Finally St. Peter agrees to discuss the situation with his boss, who says, “Fine, let him bring in just one suitcase.” The man is overjoyed! He goes through everything and loads up one of his largest bags and presents it to St. Peter for inspection. It is filled to the brim with solid gold bars. St. Peter looks at his quizzically and says: “You brought pavement?”
-Lissa Coffey
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“A good laugh is as good as a prayer sometimes.”
-L.M. Montgomery
Laughter heightens our senses so that we feel joy. And when we feel joy, we feel our connection with God. Having that feeling of oneness is like a prayer, it’s comforting, it’s cleansing. Laugh, and share the joy.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Life can be wildly tragic at times, and I’ve had my share. But whatever happens to you, you have to keep a slightly comic attitude. In the final analysis, you have got not to forget to laugh.”
-Katharine Hepburn
Most of comedy is built on tragedy – the slip on the banana peel, the pie in the face, the big misunderstanding. And we laugh because we can relate – we’ve been there. In movies there can only be so much drama before we’re offered up some “comic relief.” Writers know that audiences need a break in their emotions or they just go numb. Yes, life is tragic, and life can also be hysterically funny. Have you ever had one of those things happen where you say: “We’re going to look back on this and laugh one day?” We all have. And you know what? That day does come when we laugh – and it feels good.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ Man is the only creature endowed with the power of laughter; is he not also the only one that deserves to be laughed at?”
-Lord Greville
And why does man deserve to be laughed at? Because we take ourselves entirely too seriously! Think about it – we’re running around with our ear glued to a cell phone, dashing through parking lots, stressing about deadlines. All the while missing what’s really important in and all around us. And we do this daily. We can’t help it, we’re creatures of habit! Well, it’s time to get into some new habits, and we can start by realizing just how silly we really are!
-Lissa Coffey
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"I never taught language for the purpose of teaching it; but invariable used language as a medium for the communication of thought; thus learning of language was coincident with the acquisition of knowledge."
-Anne Sullivan (1866-1936)
My older son is going into his junior year in high school, so he's starting to study for the SAT tests and doing all the preparation that he has to do to get ready because those scores are so important when it comes to applying to colleges. When I spoke with a tutor about it, he said that students who are well-read typically do better on the test. That is because they develop a larger vocabulary, and a broader base of general knowledge. That makes sense to me. When we read we learn, and when we learn we expand our use of language.
-Lissa Coffey
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"England and America are two countries separated by the same language."
-George Bernard Shaw (1856-1932)
This is so funny, and so true! I had this experience when visiting Australia. I felt a little bit like Alice in Wonderland! I could understand every word that people spoke, and yet many times I had no idea what they were talking about! The Australians still use the more traditional English terms, and somehow in America we've found another way. Is it a boot or a trunk? A bonnet or a hood? A footpath or a sidewalk? A trolley or a cart? A serviette or a napkin? And there is the same kind of communication "gap" between American adults and teenagers a lot of times... Is it good, bad or sweet? Hot, hip or cool? I could go on and on, but as they say, "a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet." What matters is that we talk with each other, the rest is "details!"
-Lissa Coffey
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"Language is power… Language can be used as a means of changing reality."
-Adrienne Rich (1929 - )
The words we say carry weight, carry meaning. And it's not only which words we say but the way that we say them, too. Look at the "spin" that can be put on things in advertisements and in political speeches. There are ways that we can make this concept work for us in our spiritual growth. Affirmations, for example. We use words and language to change our thinking, and we can change our lives. We create our own reality.
-Lissa Coffey
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" There have been periods in the history of the various cultures, when the language of spirituality was clear, accurate and exhaustive. At the present time it is muddled, inadequate to the fact and dangerously equivocal. Lacking a proper vocabulary, people find it hard, not only to think about the most important issues of life, but even to realize that these issues exist."
-Aldous Huxley (1894-1963)
This is really interesting to think about. Is our language of spirituality clear, accurate and exhaustive? So many times, when asked about our beliefs, it seems it's hard to put into words. It's difficult to define any big concept like that because the meanings of words can vary based upon the experience of each person. But we have to start somewhere. It might be a good exercise to write up some of our own definitions just to see what kind of language we come up with to express ourselves. We might just discover something about ourselves long the way, too. Start with these: love, joy, peace, faith.
-Lissa Coffey
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"Heaven in sunshine will requite the kind."
-Byron
It is our nature to be kind. And most of the time, kindness comes easily to us, especially when we're on the path and everything is going our way. The difficulty comes when we encounter an obstacle - maybe a large, rude, imposing obstacle! Those are the times we need to remind ourselves to be kind. Those are the times that some may say we are "tested." How kind are we really? How patient? How loving? How understanding? Because we are human, there may be times when we need to make a greater effort to express kindness. But the more often we do so, and see the far-reaching effects that kindness has, the easier it gets.
-Lissa Coffey
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"Deeds of kindness are equal in weight to all the commandments."
-Talmud
A kind word, a smile, a friendly gesture - sometimes that's all it takes to totally turn someone's day around. If we can turn a day around so easily, couldn't we turn a life around? We can certainly turn our own lives around. It's these little things that add up in big ways and make the big differences in the world.
-Lissa Coffey
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"Ask thyself, daily, to how many ill-minded persons thou hast shown a kind disposition."
-Marcus Antoninus
Therein lies the challenge! Sure, we can be kind to children and animals. We can be kind when someone is kind to us. But to maintain our centeredness and be kind in spite of conflict, animosity, anger - ah, there's our real opportunity for spiritual growth!
-Lissa Coffey
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"Kindness is wisdom; there is none in life but needs it, and may learn." -Bailey
It is truly amazing that as we learn and grow and attain more wisdom, that we understand more and more the real value of the most simple things in life. Kindness is precious. It is healing and life-affirming and contagious! And kindness is readily available at all times. If there were a prescription for happiness, kindness would be one of the ingredients. It all starts here - show kindness and see what happens!
-Lissa Coffey
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"Joy is not in things; it is in us." - Richard Wagner
Joy is always present, but do we choose to see it, feel it, experience it? Make that choice today... choose to let joy bubble up and express through you! How many times have we heard "have a good day!" and thought nothing of it? We can have a good day every day, it's simply a matter of making that conscious decision. By recognizing love, peace, and joy, just by bringing it into our awareness, we lift the energy around us and make the world a better place.
-Lissa Coffey
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"Winning is important to me, but what brings me real joy is the experience of being fully engaged in whatever I'm doing." -Phil Jackson
Phil Jackson is the coach for the NBA Champion Lakers, and he obviously has a winning attitude. When you watch him on the court, you can see that he is fully engaged in coaching his team. He is focused, involved and very "in the moment." Joy has a way of inherently bringing success with it! Where do you find your joy? Go there! Immerse yourself and reap the rewards.
-Lissa Coffey
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"I go by instinct… I don't worry about experience."
-Barbra Streisand
This is such a powerful concept. Look at how this relates to the work community. One resume may be loaded with experience, while another has just the bare bones. Is that more important than the impression the job candidate makes in the interview? When we meet someone face to face we get a "feel" for how we can relate to that person, how we would like to be around that person every day in the work environment. These are the kinds of things that can't be put down on paper, we have to use our instincts.
-Lissa Coffey
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"Instinct is the nose of the mind."
-Madame De Girardin
I love this! The nose doesn't "think" - it just senses- our brain then translates what scent is coming through. Our instinct is the same way- sometimes we don't know why we know something, but we just do. So rather than try to translate or decipher this information in the brain, it might do us well to just go with it every once in awhile, and find out just where our intuition leads us.
-Lissa Coffey
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" By learning to contact, listen to, and act on our intuition, we can directly connect to the higher power of the universe and allow it to become our guiding force."
-Shakti Gawain
Where is this intuition coming from? Whether it's from the deep recesses of our memory or from the intelligence of the universe, it is worth listening to. Maybe we can't explain intuition, but we can see the benefits of it at work in our lives.
-Lissa Coffey
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Trust your hunches… Hunches are usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level. Warning! Do not confuse your hunches with wishful thinking. This is the road to disaster."
-Dr. Joyce Brothers
We can look at intuition either scientifically or spiritually, but it is there, and significantly so, nonetheless. When we get our minds involved, analyzing our hunches, that's where we get ourselves into trouble. We think too much, when sometimes we need to just "feel."
-Lissa Coffey
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“The most beautiful thing in the world is, precisely, the conjunction of learning and inspiration.”
-Wanda Landowska, in Denise Restout, ed., Landowska on Music (1964)
This is what spiritual growth is all about. When we are inspired to learn we grow so much. Our inspiration is our calling to grow, to bloom. It is a gift; it is a blessing.
-Lissa Coffey
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“ My affirmations or utterances come to me ready-made – not forethought – so that I occasionally awake in the night simply to let fall ripe a statement which I had never consciously considered before, and as surprising and novel and agreeable to me as anything can be. As if we only thought by sympathy with the universal mind, which thought while we were asleep. There is such a necessity [to] make a definite statement that our minds at length do it without our consciousness.”
-Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
We are in spirit, and therefore inspired, all the time, even in our sleep. All we need to do is recognize this, and use what is available to us.
-Lissa Coffey
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“Don’t loaf and invite inspiration.
Light out after it with a club.”
-Jack London (1876-1916)
Inspiration can come to us… but more often it is something we go out and find. And we can find it just about anywhere! Spirit is everywhere, in everything. We may have to change our scenery once in awhile to wake us up to that fact. But look around – we are living amongst the richest treasures of spirit all the time – choose to be inspired.
-Lissa Coffey
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“I am one who, when Love inspires, attend, and according as he speaks within me, so I express myself.”
-Dante (1265-1321)
Writers and artists often speak lovingly of their “muse.” Love is a muse that all of us share. What could be more inspiring? When we are “in love” we are “in spirit,” we feel our connection with God. Yet that connection is omnipresent. So when we feel that connection, we can have that same feeling of being “in love” and use it to inspire our selves!
-Lissa Coffey
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-Sight: romantic lighting is a must. Candlelight is always good, or toss a pink scarf over the lampshade, or try the warm glow of a salt crystal lamp. Stash the clutter away - remember the bedroom is for sleeping, not working - this is not the place for your desk or laptop!
-Sound: Background music, or ocean waves or the sound of the rainforest - something exotic playing that can help you get in the groove.
-Touch: Cozy pillows, soft sheets, a fur throw, and a little box by the bed filled with a silk scarf, a feather, rose petals, or whatever extra little somethings you prefer.
-Taste: For before or after romance, or maybe during romance, have on hand a bottle of champagne, some fresh fruit, dark chocolate, anything you and your partner might crave.
-Smell: Sensual scents include sandalwood, rose, patchouli, and cinnamon! You can get the aromatherapy with a candle, incense, massage oil, or an essential oil mixed in your bath.]]>
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-"Which reality show would you rather be on and why? Survivor, Amazing Race, The Apprentice, The Bachelor?"
-"What is your favorite holiday and why?"
-"If you had $100,000 and you had to spend it in 3 days what would you spend it on?"
-"Which birthday of yours do you remember the most?"
-"Who is your favorite author/actor/humanitarian, etc. and why?"
-"Your first car/kiss/crush/job, etc?"
-"2 weeks off paid and a round trip ticket anywhere in the world - where do you go?"
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Be kind, and be honest. Don't make up any stories or come up with excuses. Be direct. Use "I" words rather than "you" words. For example: "I think our relationship has run its course and I'm ready to move on," rather than "You are a lazy slob." No name calling, and no ABCs (assuming, blaming, complaining).
Is it best to do it in person? Is it o.k. to write a letter or do it over the phone? What about e-mail? Is it possible to still stay friends? If we already live together how do we split everything equally and remain civilized.
It's best to break up in person, but you can use as a guideline how long you've been together and how close you've been. If you've just been dating a few weeks and haven't been intimate, then a phone call is acceptable, but not a voice mail. Never e-mail! And be careful what you put in writing, you don't know who will read it. It is possible to stay friends if that is what you both want. Sometimes one party is hurt by the break-up, which makes it difficult. In that case some time apart to heal is best. If you live together, spend a Saturday figuring out what is "his," "hers," and "ours." The person who is moving out gets first choice in picking what to take from the "ours" pile. Remind yourselves that you are both adults and act with rationality rather than emotion. And remember that time really does heal all wounds, so even if it feels terrible at the moment, it will get better.
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What to do when you've already done it all? Some romance tips:
-glow in the dark stars on the ceiling
-rose petals in the bathtub
-couples massage
-exchange blank books - each of you writes down happy memories and things you love about the other person - and leave them on the bookshelf so you can continue writing the books and the other person can go in and read theirs every once in awhile. Put in ticket stubs, cut out cartoons from the newspaper to include - anything that will make your partner smile.
-Make a "mix CD" of songs from when you were dating, when you were married, etc.
-picnic dinner in bed - only foods you eat with your fingers
-get the car washed, fill it up with gas, and put a card and flower on the dashboard. Sometimes the simplest things are the most thoughtful, and mean the most when you're both busy working etc.
-When celebrating with kids: heart shaped pizza, heart shaped pasta, heart shaped cookies or cake
-leave candy kisses or those little valentine heart conversation candies everywhere for little surprises all day - in his pocket, in her purse, in the silverware drawer, taped with a love note to the bathroom mirror, in the car, etc.
-sent romantic text messages! It's not just for teenagers anymore... adults can learn to text or IM and send sweet signals! Or send a photo or yourself with an "I love you" sign.
-buy an instructional dance DVD, move the furniture back, and have a dancing date! Or just crank up your favorite tunes from high school or college days. Be prepared to laugh! If you want to go all out, set the mood twinkle lights or a mini mirror ball.
-Get a henna (temporary) tattoo of your spouse's name on your shoulder
-make a personal "I love you" screensaver or wallpaper and have it up on your honey's computer when they turn it on in the morning
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-Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes vowed to never go to bed angry. But sometimes that’s just what you need to strengthen your relationship. Fighting is cleansing – it gets all the gunk out on the table that’s been building up. The purpose of arguing is not to come to a consensus but to come to some clarification. Once you both understand what the issue is you can work on how to solve it. But don’t “over fight” – know when to take a time-out, even if it is overnight. Our emotions tend to get really worked up in the heat of an argument, and if we keep going we might say hurtful things that we don’t really mean. Give each other that “time-out” signal when you start feeling overwhelmed or out of control. It’s okay to take a break and re-visit the conversation with a clear head. Then you’re more likely to get resolution. Why stay up all night yelling at each other?
- Honesty is key to any intimate relationship. But you can still bend the truth for the sake of being kind. If your husband asks if you find some young hunk in your office attractive, what is he really saying? He’s asking for assurance that you are still attracted to the old guy you married! So rather than going on about how handsome your co-worker is, you can turn it around and say: “He’s not my type, you’re my type!” or something similar. Maybe the guy is your type, but since you honestly intend to stick with your husband, that little lie helps to uphold the greater truth, which is that you love your husband and you don’t want to hurt his feelings.
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We live in a materialistic society. We are consumers. We have easy access to money – with ATMs on every corner, credit cards offers filling up our mailboxes, online shopping 24/7. We have ways to get money and ways to spend money more than we ever have had before. And because of this, consumer debt, excluding mortgages, has doubled in the past decade. It now averages close to $20,000 per household. And this is a huge issue in marriages.
Since we are marrying at a later age now, we come into the relationship with our own monetary histories, just as we come in with our own sexual pasts. Most adults, 67% of women and 74% of men, enter marriage with at least some debt from cars loans, credit cards, student loans, etc. Are we upfront and open with our partners about our assets and debts? Do we know what we’re getting into when we commit our life, and our finances, to this other person? Marriage is as much a promise of fiscal partnership as of sexual monogamy. We need to talk about money, get it out in the open, make sure our values mesh and come to agreements about spending and saving. Set common goals, and work towards them together. We need to get away from “mine” and “yours” and think of money as “ours.” Couples who have this team approach to finances have a higher rate of success in staying together. It’s okay to have separate accounts, but it’s not okay to hide that money, the other person needs to be aware of it.
Couples argue about money more than any other issue. And those arguments are more intense than when we talk about any other topic. Money is tied to our hopes and dreams, our sense of security, and our emotions and expectations. When you’re married, the world treats you as one financial entity, so you need to approach finances honestly, one person can’t operate purely out of self-interest.
Financial Infidelity can have legal and long-lasting consequences, but iit also takes an emotional toll on couples. It’s a breach of trust. One partner is keeping secrets, and the other feels betrayed, asking “what else are you not telling me?” This leads to a decrease in emotional intimacy, because one partner is so afraid of that secret coming out that they can’t let down their guard, they can’t be themselves. If trust is lost in one area then it is more likely to be lost in other areas as well. Both partners need to feel that they can talk freely, and they need a sense of security about the future. With financial infidelity you lose that. Just as with sexual affairs, you have to work hard to rebuild that trust.
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Where does anger come from, what causes us to feel angry, what pushes our buttons? And why?
Anger starts when we sense some sort of a perceived threat. Back in the cave man days, this was a survival instinct, like the fight or flight response. But today, the threats we face are a little more complex than a mere bear in the woods. It’s a good idea to look at what triggers our anger so that we can figure out where we feel vulnerable and deal with that.
Letting out anger by yelling or punching a pillow might sound like a viable solution, but studies show that expressing anger actually increases aggression. At the same time, repressing the emotion can cause ourselves all kinds of problems including high blood pressure, depression or anxiety. When teenagers lose their temper or squash their feelings of anger, they are more likely to be overweight. Why? Researchers say that angry kids often calm themselves with carbohydrate-rich or fatty foods.
So clearly, we are in need of tools to cope with our stress, and the anger that may crop up because of it. We can’t get rid of the things or people that make us mad, but we can learn to control our reactions in any given situation.
Relaxation strategies can help keep anger from getting the best of us. These include deep breathing, meditation, and visualization. The Dalai Lama recommends a practice he calls analytic meditation, a type of meditation where we use reasoning. Using our intelligence in this way can help us to overcome our anger and get back to a positive state of mind.
We can also learn to restructure our thinking. Instead of identifying with the anger, by saying: “I am angry,” recognize anger as an emotion that passes through us and say: “I feel angry.” Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix the problem, and it could make things a lot worse. Don’t worry about how to solve the problem, which can be frustrating. Instead, focus on how you can handle the problem.
When we get angry we tend to jump to conclusions, often the wrong conclusions. Take some time to slow down and think about what you want to say before you blurt out the first thing that comes into your mind.
Everyone gets angry, and that’s not going to change. It’s a natural part of our human behavior. But by honoring our anger, and learning to express it in a healthy way, we can learn from the experiences that come our way and grow from them as well.
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Red roses symbolize passion - they are Venus' (The Roman Goddess of Love) favorite flower. Eros is an anagram of rose!
Birds pair up in February, appropriately in time for Valentine's Day, so a pair of birds is a symbol of fidelity, and nesting. Doves mate for life, so they are also symbolic on this day. Dove is the symbol for the Greek Goddess of Love, Aphrodite, and DOVE rhymes with LOVE.
In medieval times, many people couldn't write, so they signed their name with an x, and then kissed it to show their honesty. That's how the x came to symbolize a kiss!
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This is a great way to get messages across to your honey and experience joy at the same time. It's playful, non-threatening and shows off your creative side! Don't think about it too much - just figure out what you want to say, and break it up into 5, 7 and 5 syllables. Don't be afraid to be melodramatic - that's what makes it funny!
Last night's sex was great.
First class, round-trip to heaven -
Want to go again?
Okay, I'm sorry -
PMS, but no excuse
my bitchiness sucks.
You: man of my dreams.
Those feral friends of yours, aaaagh!
Must be a nightmare.
Feline love intense.
Soft warm fur brings ecstasy -
But, I love you more!
I miss you so much -
Tonight, no working, just us
and some naked games.
Show me you love me
for words alone won't suffice -
Take out the garbage.
My cell phone's working -
Just letting you know in case
you want to call me.
Why fight about it?
Let me win this argument,
then we can make up.
He took my blender,
my bread machine and my clock -
but you have my heart.
Endless phone tag play -
Finally you take my call
and put me on hold.
Heaven seems so far
and yet, in my own cupboard -
chocolate chip cookies.
Confined, two lovers sigh,
miles go by without a word:
No more long road trips.
Life, hard and hurried -
Don't add to my burden, please
pick up your own socks.
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To call a truce after a fight:
Remember: you think you’re right, he thinks he’s right. Even if you think he’s wrong, he’s convinced he’s right, or you wouldn’t be fighting! At some point, there comes a time when we must agree to disagree. How to do that gracefully?
-Raise the old “white flag.” Maybe it’s a hankie, or a dishtowel, or your tennis skirt – whatever is handy! It’s not necessarily a surrender, just a “let’s give up and move on.”
-Send a funny e-mail. Laughter eases the tension – helps us to keep things in perspective. Soon you’ll be laughing at yourselves.
-Ring a bell. Like after a boxing round, the “ding ding ding” is the signal for you two to take off your gloves!
-Exchange a “peace idol.” It may be a teddy bear or a Buddha figurine, something that is significant to the two of you. Use it as a signal to drop a subject – it’s a peace offering that can go back and forth whenever it needs to. Keep it in the bedroom to remind each other to keep the peace!
-Just mention “make-up sex” and he’ll back down pronto!
-Apologize. There is nothing wrong with saying: “I’m so sorry that we had a fight.” Show that you can be mature and forgiving and you’ll receive the same in return.
Ready to make up? How about a nice foot massage? Take turns pampering each other's feet
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Love is in the air! You can tell by the pink paper hearts hanging in the Hallmark store window – it’s almost Valentine’s Day! Wasn’t it just Christmas???
How do you plan to celebrate this day of romance? I avoid restaurants – too crowded. I’d rather just have some quiet time at home – light some candles, run a bubble bath, maybe share a massage or some chocolate covered strawberries! It’s the little things that can make all the difference. Just spending time together is the best gift of all.
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Birthstones
January Garnet
February Amethyst
March Aquamarine
April Diamond
May Emerald
June Pearl (or Alexandrite)
July Ruby
August Peridot
September Sapphire
October Opal (or Tourmaline)
November Topaz
December Turquoise (or Zircon)
Wedding Anniversaries (Modern)
1. Clocks and Watches
2. China
3. Crystal and Glass
4. Electrical Appliances
5. Silverware
6. Wood
7. Desk Sets
8. Linens and Laces
9. Leather
10. Diamond Watches and Jewelry
11. Fashion Jewelry and Accessories
12. Pearl or Colored Gems
13. Textiles or Furs
14. Gold Watches and Jewelry
15. Watches
16. Silver Holloware
17. Furniture
18. Porcelain
19. Bronze
20. Platinum Watches and Jewelry
25 Sterling Silver Jubilee
30 Diamond Watches and Jewelry
35 Jade
40 Ruby
45 Sapphire
50 Golden Jubilee
55 Emerald
60 Diamond Jubilee
